KEEP EXCELLENCE REAL

In past writings, I’ve asked everyone to look for the positive in youth sports. The point being, there is much more positive than negative, although the negative tends to get more attention. I apologize in advance for not following my own advice in this particular post, but there is something that worries me and I haven’t found a way to discuss it without being critical and a bit negative. So, I’ll be quick with it.

In a quest for perfect children, many parents, coaches, and teachers attribute a lack of competence to things outside the child's control, therefore maintaining the child’s belief that they are exceptional no matter how they perform. That's a bunch of gobblety-gook verbiage. What I really want to say is we make too many excuses for our children. Do we really want our children to believe they don't make mistakes?

It is extremely important that we acknowledge the things our children and athletes do well. Even when performing poorly, there are things the child is doing well. Enjoy them and celebrate them with your children and athletes. Coaches should explain what was done well and why it was considered good. When it comes to sub-standard performances, be honest, supportive and brief. Mention what part of the performance didn’t quite meet the desired outcome, but quickly change the focus to a solution. It’s as simple as this “Maybe you didn’t catch that fly ball, but don’t worry about it, we’ll work on it at the next practice. Pretty soon, no one will want to hit balls your way.” Or, don’t mention it at all following the game and structure upcoming practices to work on the weak area. Just don’t make excuses! If Sally doesn’t catch a fly ball it’s not because it was a night game and she wasn’t used to the effect of the moon’s gravitational forces on the ball’s flight. Missing the fly ball was due to circumstances under her control. She needs to know that, so she can make improvements, fix the problem and become a better ball player. If she’s told the reasons for missing the ball were outside of her control, she will assume she doesn’t need to change, that next time, she will catch the ball if those outside forces will just get out of her way.

If we always attribute poor performance to things outside the control of the athlete, we are robbing the athlete of some great opportunities. The desire to learn is highly motivational. If mistakes are always blamed on someone or something other than the student, the student will have no reason to learn (they’re already perfect). How can an athlete, student, employee, etc. learn the process of setting proper goals and goal attainment if the reasons for not reaching goals are always blamed on someone else? Sally might say “Why do I need to change my goals or training? If the moon hadn’t been out, I would have caught that ball.”

Here’s a point most people don’t think about, but is the most critical point to be made. By making excuses for poor performance, we rob our children of the opportunity to feel the sense of accomplishment that comes with improving their skills. We take away the joy of becoming a better athlete, student, musician, etc. When Sally catches a fly ball in the next game, it should come with a sense of accomplishment and a celebration. If excuses were made for Sally, she didn’t believe missing the ball was her fault, and therefore, if she improves her skills and makes a catch, she might think “good thing the moon’s not out”, instead of “YES, I did it. If I get under the ball and keep my eyes on it, I can catch it. Just like coach told me.” Her first reaction attributes the catch to the changing of factors outside of her control and therefore, she feels no significant progress was made in her skill level. The second reaction is a celebration of improved skill and progress as an athlete. Both are reactions to her catching the ball, but they are very different due to feedback she received from her previous experiences. This example is a bit of an exaggeration, but it speaks to a by-product of excuses that most of us never think about. If every time a child performs we tell them they are excellent, no matter the outcome, and if we blame an obviously poor outcome on factors outside the control of the child, how will they know when they’ve improved? According to what we tell them, they are always excellent.

We must find and celebrate excellence in our children and we will if we look for it. We must also be real when it comes to performances that are less than expected. There are many great learning opportunities on the road from novice to expert. Learning to celebrate excellence is one of those. So are overcoming obstacles and improving our weak areas. A large part of what our children learn will come from how the adults in their lives react to their performances. Should we show them how to use the situation as an opportunity to improve and celebrate that improvement, or should we make excuses? Can we ask our children to be honest if we, ourselves bend the truth? Don’t fabricate greatness. Greatness will come with time. Success is relative to a person’s current goals and past performances. Focus your attention on success and excellence will follow. Doing so can make every game or performance a positive experience with honest feedback.

We can’t skew the meaning of excellence in our children’s minds. We must keep excellence real. Then, it will have meaning.

FROM CHEATER TO CHEERY

When you spend a lot of time coaching or teaching kids, you are bound to see cheating. As much as we’d like to think otherwise, given enough time, it will happen. So, as educators, what do we do when we see our athletes cheating? A few days ago I had the opportunity to make that decision.

During conditioning, I watched one of my gymnasts perform 3 to 4 rep’s less than asked for at several consecutive stations. Not sure if what I thought I saw was really what was happening, I watched for a few minutes. It was true. She was holding back, cheating, lying, call it what you want.

My first reaction was to use this as a lesson for the entire team. I was going to send this gymnast home from practice because she had cheated on her conditioning. She would be allowed to return to practice the next day. I would tell her and her teammates of my decision during our line-up prior to separating into groups and going to events. The other girls would learn from her transgression. I would make my point that cheating was not allowed in my gym and would not be tolerated.

Then, thankfully, that little bit of time between the end of conditioning and when the girls had lined up was enough to let me clear my mind and come to my senses. Humiliation was not allowed in my gym either. Nothing would be gained by making an example of this young, talented gymnast. There was nothing good about what she had done, but maybe there would be something gained by the way we handled the situation.

When the girls broke their line and headed to the events, I called this gymnast over to me and told her what I had seen. She didn’t deny it. I quietly asked her to sit out for 5 to 10 minutes and think of a reason why she still wanted to be on this team and why her teammates and coaches should allow her to stay. She would be allowed to return to practice after telling me her reason. When she came to me later, fighting back tears, I was expecting to hear “I won’t cheat on my conditioning anymore.” This gymnast was nine years old and I would have accepted that answer. But, I was hoping for more and she gave it to me. “I want to stay on the team because I like being here. It’s fun. My friends are here and this is what I like to do” she said. To which I replied “That’s a good answer. That’s the best answer you could have given.” Damp eyes and a happy smile were her way of saying “I get it.”

There was nothing mind blowing about this episode. These things happen every day in gyms all over the world. A young gymnast was reminded that if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right, and an experienced coach was reminded of the same.

Added 3/30/22  

In the fall of 2020 this gymnast became a member of the University of Missouri gymnastics team.  In the classes I teach at Wichita State University (Coaching Principles and Motivation) I often here from students that they quit a sport due to a coach whose methods included humiliation and punishment.  I often wonder what would have happened if I had gone with my first reaction to this girl's cheating and made an example of her in front of the entire team.  Our relationship would have weakened to a point where she may have quit and would not now be enjoying her team and career at Mizzou.  I'll never know for sure, but I'm glad I had time to think and act with thought rather than (over) react with frustration.

Punishment in Coaching

          As my coaching career nears the forty year mark I can honestly say I’ve seen plenty of punishment dealt to athletes.  I can also say I’ve seen a drastic increase in the education of coaches in alternatives to punishment over that time.  It’s been approximately 100 years since Pavlov conditioned his dogs to salivate to the sound of a bell (that’s 700 dog years).  Classic conditioning and reward/punishment methods still play a role in motivation.  But, just as the caveman found objects moved easier when you attached them to round rolling things, we have found many alternatives to punishment that are more effective for teaching and motivating than the cavemanish reward/punishment model.   So, why do so many coaches still use punishment as a primary tool in teaching?
          My first answer to this question is that most coaches begin their career coaching the way they were coached.  Punishment will never go away, but it is decreasing in use as more generations of coaches use better alternatives, influencing future generations of coaches.  My second answer is coaches find that punishment can produce the results they want in the short term.  This is a classic coaching trap.  The success we see in the short term blinds us to the long term consequences of our methods.
          Before we go much further, let’s get a clear understanding of what punishment is.  The Encarta Dictionary describes punishment as “a penalty that is imposed on somebody for wrongdoing.”  This seems like a broad definition showing punishment not to be a black and white concept, but one that has some grey areas.  And, this is true.  What eliminates much of the grey area is the word PENALTY.  To be more specific, it doesn’t matter whether an athlete is receiving a true penalty or not.  What matters is that they PERCEIVE they are being penalized.  If an athlete believes they are being penalized for something they’ve done (or not done) they will most likely feel as though they are being punished.  This is a key point for coaches to understand. 

          For example, an athlete performs a skill with less than satisfactory results in the coaches eyes, so the coach asks him to perform the skill five more times.  The coach may believe he is helping the athlete improve by asking for more repetition.  The athlete may feel like the five extra turns are a penalty (punishment) for not performing the skill properly.  For every action we take as coaches we must ask “what does the athlete PERCEIVE the purpose of this action to be?”

          What is the purpose of using punishment?  Our society punishes to decrease the likelihood that a behavior will be repeated.  If you cut off the hands of a thief you will drastically decrease the chances of him stealing again.  If you sit an athlete out of practice for performing poorly, you will eliminate any chance of them performing poorly (while they are sitting out).  You will also eliminate most of the opportunities available for them to improve their performance (because they are sitting out).
          When is it appropriate to use punishment?  Because there are so many better alternatives, it is almost never appropriate to use punishment.  NEVER PUNISH AN ATHLETE FOR POOR PERFORMANCE.  There may be instances where punishment is an appropriate response to misbehavior, but you have to consider two things before choosing punishment.  First, is the behavior really misbehavior or is it something else.  For example, if an athlete isn’t listening to their coach is that misbehavior?  Listening is a skill.  Skills improve with education and practice.  Should we punish our athletes for not listening or should we teach them how to be better listeners?  I choose the second option.  There are few life skills more important than that one.  If the behavior can be corrected with education and practice then punishment is a poor choice.  Second, we must ensure the punishment we choose is appropriate and weigh that punishment against any alternative actions.  If better alternatives exist then punishment is a poor choice.
          Understanding punishment at its root level is pretty simple.  The greatest downfall of using punishment is its effect on education and motivation.  Those topics will be covered in part two of this series.

Punishment in Coaching Part Two:  How Does Punishment Effect Learning and Motivation?

Punishment in Coaching Part Three:  Alternatives to Using Punishment

SOLE CIRCLES & STALDERS

   Have you ever wondered if toe shoots (sole circles) may be easier for some of your gymnasts to learn than clear hips?  Do you have talented gymnasts who struggle with free hips?  My personal experiences would have me answer yes to both of these questions.  I have talented gymnasts on my team that seem to struggle with understanding the technique required to perform a good clear hip, which leads to poor performance of that skill.  Over the last few years, I've increased my efforts to teach sole circles and stalders.  The results have been good and I now believe, without a doubt, that some girls are destined to be more successful with toe shoots and stalders than with free hips. 

   The new competitive structure for the 2013-2017 cycle will create more opportunities for gymnasts to use these skills earlier in their career.  As coaches, we want our athletes to be successful.  Including toe shoot and stalder training along with clear hip training will create more chances for our gymnasts to succeed in the mid-levels of our sport and to carry stronger in-bar skills into the higher levels.  To help with that effort, I've posted some of the drills and progressions I've been using for these skills.  Feel free to use the ones you like and please post comments about what works for you.

You'll notice that a large portion of these progressions involve using straps.  We take advantage of a low strap bar and a high strap bar (if I had space for two or three of each I would put them up).

Step into "Monkey Giants" in straps

This is where it all starts.  The girls love to do these.  Fall with a tall body (straight legs), bend legs to circle faster on the upswing.

 

Cast into "monkey giants" (straddle entry)



Cast into "monkey giants" (split entry)



Jump into "monkey giants" (split entry)

When the girls learn to swing faster, they will make these stoop circles with straight legs.  At that point it is time to teach them how to get their feet off the bar properly.  A word of warning:  a gymnast will never learn a backward sole circle to handstand by circling to a stand on the bar and jumping off (just like they will never learn a press to handstand by jumping to a handstand).

 

The best advice at this point is to take small steps.  The goal is not to get to a handstand (yet).  I use the term "glut shoot" (referring to the gluteus maximus) instead of toe shoot so the girls understand the importance of opening the shoulders and getting their hips up, rather than shooting their feet up and maybe leaving their shoulders closed, which is a weak position (picture a head stand with straight arms).

 

Glut Shoot from a cast (split entry)



 

You may have already noticed that I prefer the split entry.  My girls seem to like this entry best and have had the most success with it.  They have transitioned well into stalder work even after doing split entry for sole circles.  Here are two stations I use to help them learn the split, late drop.  What generates a fast circle is keeping the back leg as far from the bar as possible for as long as possible.
 

Split Entry Drill on panel mat

 

Split Entry Drill on low bar

 

Multiple Glut Shoots in a row

I like to have the girls do these before allowing them to go to handstand.  It has helped with straight arms and better shapes.

 

 

Multiple Sole Circles in a row



 

Giant, split entry to "monkey giants"

 

Giant, split entry to sole circle backward

We've been working hard on this gymnast's shapes, therefore, I'm not allowing her to go to handstand yet.  She has a tendency to shoot her toes early and not get her shoulders open, causing bent arms and an arch.  Focusing on the finish shape rather than the handstand is helping.

 

 

TO THE REAL BAR

Cast glut shoot on low bar

Video to come later

Cast sole circle to handstand on low bar

Video to come later

Cast to multiple sole circles to handstand on low bar

Video to come later

Giant, split entry to "monkey giant"

This gymnast splits a little early on this turn.  Ideally the giant should pass the handstand before the motion for split entry begins.  I tell my girls to "cross the top before you drop."



 

Giant, sole circle to handstand, giant (with a spot)

 

Giant, sole circle to handstand

This is the gymnast who has been working hard on her shapes coming out of the sole circle.  You can see that she isn't opening her shoulders early enough, causing bent arms and an arch.  She's getting close to what we want, but it still has too many deductions to compete.

 

BACK STALDERS

 If a gymnast has gone through the progressions for a backward sole circle to handstand, she will most likely have success with a backward stalder providing she has these two pre-requisites:

1.  Good flexibility

2.  The ability to do multiple press handstands in a row

 

Stalder drop in from "monkey giant"

Ask the gymnast to put their heels over the bar on the downswing and compress through the bottom.  The noodle is a target for the glut's to hit, teaching the gymnast to lead with the hips on the upswing.

 

Cast to stalder drop in with wedge for target.

 

Stalder to stand from "monkey giant" (multiple)

I like this turn.  The girls can do a lot of rep's in one turn and staldering to a stand reinforces the technique of opening the shoulders before the hips.  This will help with straight arms and better shapes in the end.  I come back to this drill when the gymnast has problems with her stalder.

 

Stalder circles in a row

 

Giants to stalders on strap bar

These videos show two different levels of proficiency.  The second girl has had less experience with the skill and is dropping in too early, making a handstand at the end of the skill difficult.  But, I prefer her current shapes over a bent arm, arched handstand.  She will eventually have a stalder that looks more like the first gymnast.

 

 

TO THE REAL BAR

 

Stalder circle to clear front support

 

Stalder

 

Stalder, Short blind

 

A few more notes

*We spend approximately 75% of our time working sole circles and stalders in the straps. 

*If the skills can't be performed well in the straps, there is no need to try them on a regular bar. 

*Straps allow for lots of repetition with little wear and tear on the gymnasts hands. 

*From a coaching standpoint, seeing 3 or 4 toe shoots or stalders in a turn on the straps is better than seeing 1 per turn on a regular bar (at least in the learning phase).

*When we run into problems with these skills on the regular bar, we always go back to the strap bar to fix them.

*We begin working "monkey giants" on a low strap bar at level 4.

*The girls in these videos are level 7, 8 & 9.

 

An option for level 5 bars (2013-2017)

A sole circle backward to clear front support, stalder circle backward to clear front support or clear hip to clear front support are the 3 choices available in the first half of the level 5 compulsory routine in the new 2013-2017 structure.

 

WHAT AFFECTS OUR ATHLETES' MOTIVATION?

                There are many variables that have an effect on an athlete’s motivation.  Many of those can be influenced by a coach.  This influence should be applied with the intention of improving the athlete’s sports skills and life skills.  In no particular order, here are several factors that influence our athlete’s motivation and some thoughts on how coaches can make the sports experience more rewarding by understanding the effect they have on an athlete’s emotional state.

                SUCCESS – I know I said “in no particular order”, but this one has to be at the top.  In the big picture, there is no greater motivator than success.  But, we must also understand the opposite of this statement.  There is no greater frustrater than failure.  Multiple successes will lead to progressive motivation.  Multiple failures will lead to progressive frustration.  It is critical that coaches help their athletes define success in a broad way (continual improvement) and in ways specific to a task (goals).  Success should be based on accomplishing things that are largely under the control of the athlete and should involve a comparison to past performance and current goals.  This makes goal setting critical to repetitive success and continued motivation.

                COMPETENCE – Coaches must understand the differences between actual competence and perceived competence.  Actual competence is an athlete’s real ability to succeed.  Perceived competence is the athlete’s belief in their ability to succeed.  In the world of motivation, perceived competence has the greater effect on an athlete.  The ideal situation would be for these to be the same.  We’ve all evaluated athletes as lacking confidence or being over-confident.  These terms refer to the difference, positively or negatively, between actual competence and perceived competence.  We all want confident athletes.  I will argue that we should try to keep our athletes’ perception of their abilities close to reality but that the most confident athletes are those who perceive their abilities as being slightly better than their actual ability (perceived competence is higher than actual competence).

                FEEDBACK – Many times athletes, particularly young athletes, look at the reaction of others to help them interpret results of their performance.  In sports, feedback comes from many directions (coaches, teammates, parents, officials, spectators and the performance itself).  As athletes mature a larger percentage of their feedback will come from self-evaluation.  But with children it’s critical that coaches provide positive feedback that guides the young athlete’s evaluation of their performance.  They will be looking for it and the coach is the best place to find it.  99.9% of performances have some good in them.  Find it and comment on it first, then make corrections.  Tie the corrections to the good points in an effort to help create a complete picture for the athlete.  In that rare occasion when nothing goes right I suggest laughing it off with an “oops” or “let’s pretend you didn’t take that turn.” 

                GOAL SETTING – Setting good goals is a skill that improves with practice and education.  Either formally or informally coaches should be teaching the goal setting process to their athletes.  Good goals lead to repetitive success.  Repetitive success increases motivation.  Goals should be progressive, creating many small steps to help an athlete reach a larger goal.  Each step is an opportunity to experience success and celebrate.  Goals that are too hard or too easy are not motivating.  If you have an athlete that consistently chooses very easy or extremely hard goals, you have an athlete with a confidence (perceived competence) and/or motivation problem.  As coaches, it is our job to help this athlete get back on a goal-track that is nearer to reality so they can experience meaningful success.

                These are four key factors that affect an athlete’s motivation.  As you can see, a coach can and should influence these factors in large ways.  A master-motivator will monitor each athlete’s emotional state, consider these factors and many others and take steps to increase the athlete’s motivation and to teach life skills that will lead to continual motivation.

                I can’t finish this post without a warning.  A coach who uses motivation as a tool to produce results simply to inflate his ego (or bank account) is a great manipulator not a great motivator.  If our own motivation isn’t anchored in doing what’s best for our athletes we should choose to do something other than coach.

HOW FORTUNATE WE ARE TO BE COACHING GYMNASTICS

     The world of education could learn a thing or two from the gymnastics community.  While the system we use to progress our athletes in the sport may not be perfect, its structure is one that would be well suited for our education system.   I recently returned to graduate school for the second time, this time in pursuit of a Master’s Degree in Curriculum and Instruction.  The stories I’m hearing from teachers in the master’s program are puzzling and somewhat troubling.  But, they make me thankful for the evolution of our industry to what it’s become today.
     We all know that gymnastics is taught in a progressive manner.  That every skill has prerequisite skills and once a gymnast has learned a skill, there is always a more advanced skill to accomplish.  Progressions are at the core of what we do as gymnastics coaches.  Our national system is wisely set up based on progressions with few restrictions due to age.  It is a mastery teaching system.  Perform a skill with reasonable proficiency and move on to the next skill.  It’s such a simple and right concept.
     Contrast this to a typical student in the education system.  This student is most often moved up a grade level in every subject, every year with minimal concern given to whether they are over-prepared or under-prepared for the next grade.  Teachers face classrooms full of students with huge variance in knowledge and skills.  Many people in education are trying to fix the system with innovative curriculum, national standards, mandated teaching methods, scripted curriculum and the like.  There is a lot of great information available to help teachers teach our kids and there are many terrible ideas out there as well. 
     Is it futuristic dreaming to think that a system can be developed with subject paths that contain multiple levels of mastery appropriate for the subject, like we do in gymnastics?  For example, could there be forty eight levels of national norms for math?  If the schools offered five, nine week sessions a year, giving students the option of enrolling in 4 or 5 of those sessions, each student would have between 52 and 65 sessions in a thirteen year education career to complete forty eight levels of math and however many levels are deemed necessary in other subjects.  For example; 48 levels of math and science, 32 levels of social studies and English, 16 levels of composition, etc.  Progress through the levels would be based on mastery allowing faster progress in a student’s strong subjects and slower progress when needed.  Students would have the opportunity to pass a level in each session.  If mastery isn’t reached, the student would enroll in the same level for the next session.  Is there anything wrong with a student’s morning class schedule looking like this?

First period:                 Level 7 math
Second period:           Level 10 composition
Third period:               Level 9 Social Studies

Or, even this?

First period:                 Level 5 math
Second period:           Level 5 math
Third period:               Level 10 Composition

     How great would it be for a student who is weak in a subject to be able to take the same class two periods in a row?  What an advantage that would be over the current system where a student who falls behind quite often never catches up.  How great would it be for teachers to have every student in a class at or near the same ability level?  How great would it be for students to have the option of accelerating their education by attending five sessions a year instead of four?  When the required curriculum is mastered in each subject, the student would receive a high school diploma.  For some that may happen at the age of fourteen.  For others it may happen at the age of twenty.  But, whatever the age of completion, all diplomas would represent a mastery of the skills required, giving high school diplomas consistency and meaning that they don’t currently have.  How great would that be?
     While I listened to a teacher explaining how her math curriculum was scripted by a curriculum design company and that every teacher in town was expected to read the same script, ask the same questions and engage in the same activities as every other teacher in that grade level, I became very thankful that our industry is guided by a national curriculum, but allows coaches to coach, individualize our instruction, be creative and do what’s best for the individual child.  Progress is based on mastery and assessments are ongoing and meaningful as opposed to a single letter grade every 9 weeks.  These comparisons could go on and on, but I really just wanted to make two points.  First, we in the gymnastics world are getting it right (not perfect, but right).  And second, if mastery learning and progressive education is such a simple concept, why is our education system still clinging to an antiquated and ineffective structure?

SOMETIMES WE JUST CAN’T DO ENOUGH

Recently, I’ve had two occasions where I wished I could have done more for a gymnast of mine.  The cases for these two girls are similar.  The relationships went deeper than just coach/gymnast and were layered with siblings and parents.  Good families, military, both Fathers officers in the U. S. Air Force.  In both cases, circumstances were governed partially by injuries.  In both cases, I came away feeling as the beneficiary of our relationship.  If I was an accountant, I would say that the credits and debits didn’t balance out in either case, and that I came out ahead in both instances.

One of these girls is leaving the sport.  Injuries not necessarily due to gymnastics but compounded by training have finally reached a point where it’s time to stop.  Maybe, in time, she will be able to return.  That’s still an unknown at this point.  If the only factors in this decision were grit and determination, I would expect her to walk through the door sometime in the next several months.  Unfortunately, there are other factors that have a higher priority (as they should). 

The other gymnast’s Father was re-assigned a few months ago and the family moved to another state and another gym (as military families quite often do).  This gymnast came to us after a shortened season, due to injury, with her team in Hawaii, where the family was previously stationed.  She had a complete season with us and made tremendous progress.  In her second season on our team she was peaking at precisely the right time.  After scoring over 38 all around in early March, landing on the edge of a skill cushion took her out of the state meet only two weeks later.  The injury required surgery and the following season was in jeopardy.  To make a long story short, SHE made the season happen and was a key player in her team’s victory at that year’s state meet.

Like most coaches, I spend a lot of time thinking about my gymnasts.  I know stories similar to these happen all the time, but these two seem to be on my mind a lot.  Perhaps because I wished I could have done more for these two gymnasts and now the opportunity has passed.  Perhaps because I still wonder how, after being dealt the hands they were dealt, they came through smiling and happy.  Don’t get me wrong, accepting their fate was tough.  Persisting through a second comeback from injury in one case and persisting against an immovable opponent in the other case created some heart wrenching moments.  But through it all, they have become young ladies who most parents would like to have their children look up to as role models.

As I’ve thought more about this, I’ve come to realize these two gymnasts are living examples of the old saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”  The words honor, integrity, service, commitment, courage, resolution, honesty and excellence are words that get thrown around a lot in the sports community, their meanings becoming diluted due to over-use or misuse.   But, these same words are the FOUNDATION of the military spirit.  For these families, they aren’t just words on a poster or a coffee cup.  Their meanings are taught and modeled by the Fathers/Officers, their wives and their children.  These words aren’t simply part of their vocabulary they are a way of life.

I’ve always believed a coach’s job is to give.  What I gained from these families involvement with my gym is more than I will ever be able to give back.  I wish I could have given more, but I’ve accepted the fact that in these cases I’m the receiver, not the giver.  And, for that, I am thankful.

 

BADMOUTHING OPPONENTS IN SPORT

What is gained by badmouthing opponents?  Do we get better by making our opponents appear to be bad?  The answers to these questions are “nothing” and “no”.  Yet, some people believe this is part of sport.  That being competitive means you must talk trash about the people you compete against.  

I’ll admit, it’s more easy to be critical than complimentary.  But, if we all enjoy receiving compliments, why aren’t we more willing to give them?  Our skills don’t improve by bad-mouthing our opponents.  Our skills don’t weaken when we compliment them.

If it’s unacceptable to physically hurt an opponent, then it should be unacceptable to verbally damage an opponent as well.

If we, as coaches and parents, model behavior that’s complimentary and respectful of our opponents, our children will learn to do the same.  If we stop listening to those who badmouth, they will no longer have an audience for their misguided comments. 

Developing friendships is one of the greatest benefits of participating in youth sports.  It’s conceivable that we could double that benefit for our children by modeling a healthy attitude toward their opponents.

Go-fer Class, Free Time and Intrinsic Motivation

Many, many years ago while a graduate student I studied everything I could get my hands on about how to motivate children. Of course, I found that intrinsic motivation is preferred head and shoulders over extrinsic motivation.  Therefore, I set out to develop a love of gymnastics in my students that they would never loose. My goal was to ensure that I was providing activities that were fun, that the gymnasts wanted to do because of the thrill of the activity itself. I avoided an overuse of extrinsic rewards and followed any other advice I had picked up in the many hours of library searches. The members of the boy’s team I was coaching at that time were having a great time in the gym and were excelling in competition. So, I assumed I was doing the right thing for them. But, I wondered how I could be sure of that. How could I find out if they were intrinsically motivated or if something else was contributing to their success and motivation? I decided to give them some free time in the gym and see what they did with it. After some safety guidelines were established, I allowed each of the boys to choose what they wanted to do with about a half an hour of their practice time. I watched, spotted skills when they asked, but didn't participate in the choices concerning what they would do. This created such a rewarding experience for me as a coach that I have used the same tool many times over the years. Left to choose what to do with their time, those boys choose similar activities to what we had been training. Of course, their choices leaned a little more toward the new skills we had been working rather than basics, but their preparation turns for those new skills were very logical and responsible choices. Now, you need to know that this group of boys had a regular game of pit football as a pre-warm up, competed doubles off rings before they even dreamed of doing a handstand on those same rings, learned doubles off high bar before learning giants, liked to play music too loud (1982, Eye of the Tiger) and would beg to do snap-down double backs off a mini-trampoline into a pit. Yes, they (or should I say "we") liked to push the envelope. My little experiment with free time, although very non-scientific, showed me that they loved what we were doing in the gym. Of the six boys in that group, three stayed in the sport through college.



Two weeks ago I was reminded of the "free-time tool", it's purpose and the importance of the intrinsic motivation cornerstone of our core philosophy. We had started our summer workouts struggling with basic techniques, causing slow progress and therefore boring practices. Every summer for the last three years I have offered an additional class for my level seven's and up. It's called the Go-fer class and gives the girls opportunities to work on skills and progressions for skills a few levels ahead of their expected level for the upcoming season, to go-fer harder skills. As in the past, the girls loved it. Several level seven's from the previous season did front fulls onto mats in the pit, Tkachev drills, etc. They were fired up. A few days later, I was talking to Jen, who coaches floor and beam. We were discussing our struggles getting the girls through their basic skills with enough time left in the rotation to work new skills. Solid basics, proper technique and good form are keys to our success and we weren't going to lower our standards, but we were boring the girls and they weren't motivated to perform those basic skills to our standards. I pulled the free time tool out of the old tool box.  We used it and it brought the team back to life.  And, guess what? The basic skills improved and are getting back to the standards we expect. The lesson I learned (it's not the first time I've learned this) is that a coach is asking for trouble when he takes the intrinsically motivating activities away from his athletes. As coaches we should create environments and opportunities to enhance our athlete’s intrinsic motivation. We should do what we can to grow their love of the sport, and then let them do what they love.

TIM TEBOW, TEBOWING AND TEBOW-MANIA

     What do you think of TebowMania, Tebowing and Tebow Time? Now that the football season is over and this topic is no longer in the mainstream media we can look back on this in short term retrospect and make a call. When my gymnasts began Tebowing in the gym, I started putting a little more thought into the matter. My vote is that the Tebow phenomenon of the 2011 season was a good thing. Of course, this is based on the effect it had on my little piece of the world.      I believe one of the greatest lessons a coach can teach a child athlete is to seize the opportunities derived from success in sports to do some good. When you do something well it draws attention to you, creating an opportunity to make a difference, good or bad.
     Tim Tebow’s actions drew attention on a world-wide stage and he didn’t let that opportunity slip by. But, what about the gymnast on your team that swings beautiful giants on bars and the little girls who watch her in awe? This gymnast has an opportunity to have an effect on her little piece of the world just as Tim Tebow had the opportunity to affect a large piece of the world. We should teach our athletes to recognize these moments. A well placed compliment or something as simple as “hi, how are you?” can go a long way. With practice, this will become habit, a good habit.
     A lot was made of the fact that Tebow finds a way to win. We should teach our children to play within the rules and try their best to win. I think this is a lesson that is often lost in youth sports, which is a disservice to our children. So many valuable life lessons are learned from the win/lose dichotomy. Sure, whether you win or lose shouldn’t be a priority in youth sports, but the determination to excel within the rules is a lesson we should teach, because it has value for a lifetime.
     If we aren’t teaching our children to excel, what are they learning from us? Keep in mind that excellence is personal. What’s considered excellent for John is not the same as what is considered excellent for Jim. Personal excellence should be based on what an individual has done in the past, their experience and their current goals.
     To the Tebow critics, I say “get over it.” I’m pretty confident that Tim Tebow didn’t consciously think “I’m going to kneel down and pray on national television to draw attention to myself.” Football players spend a lot of time on one knee. Someone devoted to their religious beliefs spends a lot of time praying. I’m sure it was years and years ago that these two things blended for Tim Tebow, somewhere unnoticed by the rest of the world.
     I really should give these critics in media a break though. After all, their job is to attract attention. Or, maybe I shouldn’t, because when you attract attention to yourself, you have the opportunity to make a difference, good or bad. It’s their choice. The opportunity is there. Maybe they should ask themselves “what would Tim do?”

DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'

As coaches, parents and teachers it’s our hope and desire to be a positive influence on the children on our teams and in our classrooms and families. Typically, the rewards we receive for our efforts are consistent and evident. The children in our lives are happy and appreciative. But, how should we feel when these things aren’t so evident? What does it mean when our kids don’t seem to be appreciative or they become critical of us? Have we become bad parents or coaches? NO! Have we lost the ability to influence our athletes and children? NO! Although their appreciation may not always be overtly displayed, the children in our lives are learning from us. They look up to us as role models and they appreciate the things we are teaching them.

Many, many years ago, when I was fresh out of college, I spent a few years teaching physical education before opening my gym. At one of my schools, I had a little girl who loved the activities I planned for the kids, but struggled with her behavior. There was no problem motivating her to participate, but motivating her to follow instructions and treat people right was a challenge. Consequently, she spent a lot of time sitting out of the activities that she loved so much. Her disapproval of this was very evident. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t find a way to get this seven year old to behave. I thought she must hate my class.

My other school was a magnet school where the students applied to attend and were accepted from all over town. I taught this little girls brother at the magnet school. As open house (meet your teacher night) was winding down at the magnet school, this little girl came bursting through the door of my room (yes, she was running in the hall). Her mother came through the door shortly after her with an apologetic look on her face. “She just wouldn’t leave without coming down here to see you” the Mom said. “She loves your classes and talks about them all the time.”

Prior to this conversation, I didn’t believe I was contributing anything positive in this girl’s life. Apparently, I was wrong. I improved as a teacher and coach that day, because I came to understand that although my effect on the children I teach wasn’t always evident, it did exist. I didn’t need to have positive feedback or reinforcement from my students to know that I was having an effect on them. Sure, it’s nice to hear good comments from our students, their parents and other teachers and coaches, but we must continue the journey whether those are present or not. We must understand that our effect, good or bad, on the children we coach is present whether it is made evident to us or not. So, coaches, parents and teachers, don’t stop believin’ that you make a difference and dedicate every minute of your effort to the goal of making that difference a positive one.

MAKE EXCELLENCE REAL - Excuses

In past writings, I’ve asked everyone to look for the positive in youth sports. The point being, there is much more positive than negative, although the negative tends to get more attention. I apologize in advance for not following my own advice in this particular post, but there is something that worries me and I haven’t found a way to discuss it without being critical and a bit negative. So, I’ll be quick with it.

In a quest for perfect children, many parents, coaches, and teachers attribute a lack of competence to things outside the child's control, therefore maintaining the child’s belief that they are exceptional no matter how they perform. That's a bunch of gobblety-gook verbage. What I really want to say is we make too many excuses for our children. Do we really want our children to believe they don't make mistakes?

It is extremely important that we acknowledge the things our children and athletes do well. Even when performing poorly, there are things the child is doing well. Enjoy them and celebrate them with your children and athletes. Coaches should explain what was done well and why it was considered good. When it comes to sub-standard performances, be honest, supportive and brief. Mention what part of the performance didn’t quite meet the desired outcome, but quickly change the focus to a solution. It’s as simple as this “Maybe you didn’t catch that fly ball, but don’t worry about it, we’ll work on it at the next practice. Pretty soon, no one will want to hit balls your way.” Or, don’t mention it at all following the game and structure upcoming practices to work on the weak area. Just don’t make excuses! If Sally doesn’t catch a fly ball it’s not because it was a night game and she wasn’t used to the effect of the moon’s gravitational forces on the ball’s flight. Missing the fly ball was due to circumstances under her control. She needs to know that, so she can make improvements, fix the problem and become a better ball player. If she’s told the reasons for missing the ball were outside of her control, she will assume she doesn’t need to change, that next time, she will catch the ball if those outside forces will just get out of her way.

If we always attribute poor performance to things outside the control of the athlete, we are robbing the athlete of some great opportunities. The desire to learn is highly motivational. If mistakes are always blamed on someone or something other than the student, the student will have no reason to learn (they’re already perfect). How can an athlete, student, employee, etc. learn the process of setting proper goals and goal attainment if the reasons for not reaching goals are always blamed on someone else? Sally might say “Why do I need to change my goals or training? If the moon hadn’t been out, I would have caught that ball.”

Here’s a point most people don’t think about, but is the most critical point to be made. By making excuses for poor performance, we rob our children of the opportunity to feel the sense of accomplishment that comes with improving their skills. We take away the joy of becoming a better athlete, student, musician, etc. When Sally catches a fly ball in the next game, it should come with a sense of accomplishment and a celebration. If excuses were made for Sally, she didn’t believe missing the ball was her fault, and therefore, if she improves her skills and makes a catch, she might think “good thing the moon’s not out”, instead of “YES, I did it. If I get under the ball and keep my eyes on it, I can catch it. Just like coach told me.” Her first reaction attributes the catch to the changing of factors outside of her control and therefore, she feels no significant progress was made in her skill level. The second reaction is a celebration of improved skill and progress as an athlete. Both are reactions to her catching the ball, but they are very different due to feedback she received from her previous experiences. This example is a bit of an exaggeration, but it speaks to a by-product of excuses that most of us never think about. If every time a child performs we tell them they are excellent, no matter the outcome, and if we blame an obviously poor outcome on factors outside the control of the child, how will they know when they’ve improved? According to what we tell them, they are always excellent.

We must find and celebrate excellence in our children and we will if we look for it. We must also be real when it comes to performances that are less than expected. There are many great learning opportunities on the road from novice to expert. Learning to celebrate excellence is one of those. So are overcoming obstacles and improving our weak areas. A large part of what our children learn will come from how the adults in their lives react to their performances. Should we show them how to use the situation as an opportunity to improve and celebrate that improvement, or should we make excuses? Can we ask our children to be honest if we, ourselves bend the truth? Don’t fabricate greatness. Greatness will come with time. Success is relative to a person’s current goals and past performances. Focus your attention on success and excellence will follow. Doing so can make every game or performance a positive experience with honest feedback.

We can’t skew the meaning of excellence in our children’s minds. We must keep excellence real. Then, it will have meaning.

HOW DO WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN?

It appears that the children in our society are more in danger from predators than many of us would have believed prior to the last few weeks. News of alleged inappropriate behavior toward children from coaches in college football, gymnastics and college basketball brings to the forefront the age-old questions, how do we protect our children from people who want to do them harm? How do we allow our children to reap the benefits provided by all the wonderful adults involved in youth sports while protecting them from that small percent of one percent of coaches with immoral motives?

First and foremost, our children must understand what constitutes inappropriate touching. But, if prevention is our goal (rather than reaction), we must teach our kids to recognize the signs of prepping and baiting used by adults to build relationships with children that may allow future abuse. What seems to be common to all the cases reported is that the children involved were allegedly set up for the abuse over a time frame of months or years.

Unfortunately, the things a coach tries to develop in a good relationship with athletes, trust, confidence, care and concern are the very things a pedophile tries to develop when “setting up” future victims. This forces parents, coaches and administrators to walk a very fine line between protecting our children and falsely accusing good people. But, it should also lead all of us to accept and implement certain guidelines that are set in stone and followed without exception. Doing so will go a long way toward protecting our children from that percent of one percent of coaches who want to do them harm and it will protect the nearly one hundred percent of adults involved in youth sports for the right reasons from being falsely accused of inappropriate behavior.

TEN STRATEGIES FOR PROTECTING OUR CHILDREN (and their good coaches)

1. A coach should never be alone with a child, not before practice, not after practice, not during travel.

2. Coaches and athletes should never share hotel rooms when traveling.

3. Coaches should not provide special treatment to one or two athletes compared to the rest of the team. This could be trips to movies or ballgames, gifts, etc.

4. Team sleepovers should be supervised by multiple adults. Use common sense when considering the sex and number of adults supervising this type of activity. Make sure parents are involved.

5. Trust your child’s coach, but not blindly. Trust is something earned, not given. It must be continually earned or it should be taken away.

6. Parents should monitor their child’s relationship with his/her coaches, not in a conspiracy theory, witch-hunt way, but to simply confirm they’ve chosen good people to guide that part of their child’s life.

7. Everyone should report abuse when witnessed. Not hearsay or rumors, but if you witness abuse, REPORT IT!

8. Adults should intervene on behalf of the child when witnessing child abuse (if you can do so safely).

9. Children should understand what constitutes inappropriate touching and know to report it when they see it or experience it.

10. If you are one who is part of that percent of one percent who coach or get involved with youth activities for immoral reasons, please get help.

Note: Although these thoughts are presented in a coach/athlete mode, they can just as easily be applied to many adult/child relationships.