KEEP EXCELLENCE REAL

In past writings, I’ve asked everyone to look for the positive in youth sports. The point being, there is much more positive than negative, although the negative tends to get more attention. I apologize in advance for not following my own advice in this particular post, but there is something that worries me and I haven’t found a way to discuss it without being critical and a bit negative. So, I’ll be quick with it.

In a quest for perfect children, many parents, coaches, and teachers attribute a lack of competence to things outside the child's control, therefore maintaining the child’s belief that they are exceptional no matter how they perform. That's a bunch of gobblety-gook verbiage. What I really want to say is we make too many excuses for our children. Do we really want our children to believe they don't make mistakes?

It is extremely important that we acknowledge the things our children and athletes do well. Even when performing poorly, there are things the child is doing well. Enjoy them and celebrate them with your children and athletes. Coaches should explain what was done well and why it was considered good. When it comes to sub-standard performances, be honest, supportive and brief. Mention what part of the performance didn’t quite meet the desired outcome, but quickly change the focus to a solution. It’s as simple as this “Maybe you didn’t catch that fly ball, but don’t worry about it, we’ll work on it at the next practice. Pretty soon, no one will want to hit balls your way.” Or, don’t mention it at all following the game and structure upcoming practices to work on the weak area. Just don’t make excuses! If Sally doesn’t catch a fly ball it’s not because it was a night game and she wasn’t used to the effect of the moon’s gravitational forces on the ball’s flight. Missing the fly ball was due to circumstances under her control. She needs to know that, so she can make improvements, fix the problem and become a better ball player. If she’s told the reasons for missing the ball were outside of her control, she will assume she doesn’t need to change, that next time, she will catch the ball if those outside forces will just get out of her way.

If we always attribute poor performance to things outside the control of the athlete, we are robbing the athlete of some great opportunities. The desire to learn is highly motivational. If mistakes are always blamed on someone or something other than the student, the student will have no reason to learn (they’re already perfect). How can an athlete, student, employee, etc. learn the process of setting proper goals and goal attainment if the reasons for not reaching goals are always blamed on someone else? Sally might say “Why do I need to change my goals or training? If the moon hadn’t been out, I would have caught that ball.”

Here’s a point most people don’t think about, but is the most critical point to be made. By making excuses for poor performance, we rob our children of the opportunity to feel the sense of accomplishment that comes with improving their skills. We take away the joy of becoming a better athlete, student, musician, etc. When Sally catches a fly ball in the next game, it should come with a sense of accomplishment and a celebration. If excuses were made for Sally, she didn’t believe missing the ball was her fault, and therefore, if she improves her skills and makes a catch, she might think “good thing the moon’s not out”, instead of “YES, I did it. If I get under the ball and keep my eyes on it, I can catch it. Just like coach told me.” Her first reaction attributes the catch to the changing of factors outside of her control and therefore, she feels no significant progress was made in her skill level. The second reaction is a celebration of improved skill and progress as an athlete. Both are reactions to her catching the ball, but they are very different due to feedback she received from her previous experiences. This example is a bit of an exaggeration, but it speaks to a by-product of excuses that most of us never think about. If every time a child performs we tell them they are excellent, no matter the outcome, and if we blame an obviously poor outcome on factors outside the control of the child, how will they know when they’ve improved? According to what we tell them, they are always excellent.

We must find and celebrate excellence in our children and we will if we look for it. We must also be real when it comes to performances that are less than expected. There are many great learning opportunities on the road from novice to expert. Learning to celebrate excellence is one of those. So are overcoming obstacles and improving our weak areas. A large part of what our children learn will come from how the adults in their lives react to their performances. Should we show them how to use the situation as an opportunity to improve and celebrate that improvement, or should we make excuses? Can we ask our children to be honest if we, ourselves bend the truth? Don’t fabricate greatness. Greatness will come with time. Success is relative to a person’s current goals and past performances. Focus your attention on success and excellence will follow. Doing so can make every game or performance a positive experience with honest feedback.

We can’t skew the meaning of excellence in our children’s minds. We must keep excellence real. Then, it will have meaning.

FROM CHEATER TO CHEERY

When you spend a lot of time coaching or teaching kids, you are bound to see cheating. As much as we’d like to think otherwise, given enough time, it will happen. So, as educators, what do we do when we see our athletes cheating? A few days ago I had the opportunity to make that decision.

During conditioning, I watched one of my gymnasts perform 3 to 4 rep’s less than asked for at several consecutive stations. Not sure if what I thought I saw was really what was happening, I watched for a few minutes. It was true. She was holding back, cheating, lying, call it what you want.

My first reaction was to use this as a lesson for the entire team. I was going to send this gymnast home from practice because she had cheated on her conditioning. She would be allowed to return to practice the next day. I would tell her and her teammates of my decision during our line-up prior to separating into groups and going to events. The other girls would learn from her transgression. I would make my point that cheating was not allowed in my gym and would not be tolerated.

Then, thankfully, that little bit of time between the end of conditioning and when the girls had lined up was enough to let me clear my mind and come to my senses. Humiliation was not allowed in my gym either. Nothing would be gained by making an example of this young, talented gymnast. There was nothing good about what she had done, but maybe there would be something gained by the way we handled the situation.

When the girls broke their line and headed to the events, I called this gymnast over to me and told her what I had seen. She didn’t deny it. I quietly asked her to sit out for 5 to 10 minutes and think of a reason why she still wanted to be on this team and why her teammates and coaches should allow her to stay. She would be allowed to return to practice after telling me her reason. When she came to me later, fighting back tears, I was expecting to hear “I won’t cheat on my conditioning anymore.” This gymnast was nine years old and I would have accepted that answer. But, I was hoping for more and she gave it to me. “I want to stay on the team because I like being here. It’s fun. My friends are here and this is what I like to do” she said. To which I replied “That’s a good answer. That’s the best answer you could have given.” Damp eyes and a happy smile were her way of saying “I get it.”

There was nothing mind blowing about this episode. These things happen every day in gyms all over the world. A young gymnast was reminded that if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right, and an experienced coach was reminded of the same.

Added 3/30/22  

In the fall of 2020 this gymnast became a member of the University of Missouri gymnastics team.  In the classes I teach at Wichita State University (Coaching Principles and Motivation) I often here from students that they quit a sport due to a coach whose methods included humiliation and punishment.  I often wonder what would have happened if I had gone with my first reaction to this girl's cheating and made an example of her in front of the entire team.  Our relationship would have weakened to a point where she may have quit and would not now be enjoying her team and career at Mizzou.  I'll never know for sure, but I'm glad I had time to think and act with thought rather than (over) react with frustration.

Punishment in Coaching Part Two: How Punishment Effects Motivation and Learning

                In part one of this series I hopefully made the point that punishment has no place in sports.  If a poor behavior can be corrected with education and learning or if there are better alternative solutions than punishment then punishment is a poor choice.

                Perhaps the greatest ill-effect punishment has on an athlete’s motivation and ability to learn is the toll it takes on the coach/athlete relationship.  No one enjoys being punished.  The person giving out the punishment is tied closely to that feeling.  Earning trust and respect takes time.  Either can be easily lost with one misdeed.  Our efforts as coaches should be as a guide, someone supporting the goals of the athlete.  Punishing our athletes will slide us a little more toward an antagonistic relationship with them rather than a supporting relationship. 
                Please don’t misunderstand me.  We don’t have to pretend to be happy when misbehavior disappoints us.  We don’t have to hide our disappointment.  Disappointment is an honest emotion.  It is okay for an athlete to know her poor choices have disappointed her coach.  What’s critical is how the coach reacts to that disappointment. 

If a coach reacts to disappointment with thought they will realize the poor choices made by athletes are mistakes.  We should all learn from our mistakes, doing so helps decrease the chances of making the same mistake again.  In part one of this series I stated “Our society punishes to decrease the likelihood that a behavior will be repeated.”  It appears as if education and punishment share a common goal, decreasing the likelihood that a poor behavior or mistake will be repeated.  If disappointment and thought are the reactions to misbehavior or poor performance then education will most likely be the solution to the problem.

What if misbehavior or poor performance stirs other emotions in the coach?  We all recognize anger when we see it.  Anger doesn’t move around incognito, its presence is obvious.  Let me say this before going on; if the emotion stirred in a coach following a poor performance by an athlete or team is anger, the coach needs to quit coaching until they get to the bottom of their personal psychological issues.  The coach who feels angry following a poor performance by his team or by one of his athletes is not coaching for the benefit of the athlete or the team.  This coach has allowed their ego to play too large a role in their reasoning to coach.  A coach who reacts to disappointment with anger will more likely use punishment to solve the problem than a coach who reacts with thought. 

An angry, ego involved coach will dish out punishment as revenge for damaging their ego, making them look bad in front of someone they wanted to impress, dropping in the standings or slowing progress toward reaching a goal their ego helped them set.  How is the coach/athlete relationship affected by a coach who seeks revenge on his players for making poor choices or playing poorly?  In the original Karate Kid movie Mr. Miyage asked Daniel why he wanted to learn karate.  Daniel, who had been getting beat up by boys from the local karate dojo, answered “how’s revenge sound.”  Mr. Miyage replied with sound advice “you look revenge that way, start by digging two graves.”  His point was this; the first act of revenge can start a dangerous cycle that damages all involved in the struggle.  In our case that struggle would be between the coach and athlete.  If a coach and athlete are to struggle, they should struggle together to reach their goals.  Struggling against each other will cause both to fail.

                The use of punishment decreases motivation and slows learning in other, subtle ways.  A couple of examples may help increase awareness of the more subtle downfalls of using punishment.  Keep in mind the point I made in part one, if the athlete PERCEIVES they are being penalized for their actions, you have a punishment component in play.  A coach may believe they are teaching and trying to help an athlete improve, while at the same time the athlete feels the coach is punishing them.  As coaches, we must always work to improve our ability to read our athletes so we can see our actions from their perspective.

Example #1: 

·         A gymnast is told by her coach “each time you don’t stick your landing you have to do 20 sit-ups.”

o   Will the gymnast put more effort into sticking her landings?  Probably (temporary gain from punishment, The Coaching Trap)

o   Will the gymnast try to avoid the skill she is struggling to stick?  Most likely, because we try to avoid punishment and every turn that isn’t stuck receives punishment.  By taking fewer turns she decreases the chance of being punished.

o   Will the gymnast avoid doing sit-ups in the future?  Most definitely, because she will see them as punishment and punishment is to be avoided.

·         There are two negatives coming out of this situation.

o   While the coach is hoping to decrease steps on landings, she may decrease the number of turns the gymnast takes, removing opportunities to improve.

o   In an attempt to decrease the likelihood of a poor performance, the coach has presented what could be a positive exercise (sit-ups) as punishment.  Remember, we try to avoid punishment.  So, this gymnast will try to avoid sit-ups in the future because she sees them as a negative rather than a positive.

o   If strength and conditioning is an important ingredient in an athlete’s success then it must not be perceived as punishment.  If strength and conditioning exercises are assigned because of poor performance or lack of effort, they will be perceived as punishment.

Example #2:

·         A basketball coach is disappointed in his team’s free throw shooting in games, so he tells his team “every time one of you misses a free throw in a game each of you will shoot 50 extra free throws after the next practice.”

o   How will the players perceive the extra free throws, as punishment or extra practice?  Remember, they were assigned because of poor performance.

o   Jimmy got in the game long enough to shoot one free throw, which he missed.  Johnny played most of the game and made all 7 of his free throws.  How is Johnny going to feel about the 50 extra free throws assigned?  How is Jimmy going to feel about his short contribution in the game?  He didn’t get the point for the free throw he missed and he caused all of his teammates to stay after practice to shoot 50 free throws each.

§  Punishing an entire team for the actions of one teammate is most often a no-no for developing a positive team culture.  Remember, no one likes being punished and that feeling is transferred to the person delivering the punishment.  In this case, that person is a teammate (even though it was a gutless coach who assigned the punishment and then pinned it on the shoulders of the player).

o   Instead of using conditioning as punishment, this coach is using the skill that needs improved as punishment.  Something about that just doesn’t seem right.

Often the actions of a coach following misbehavior are based on the options the coach feels are available, options the coach is comfortable using.  Because punishment seems to be an easy and available option it gets used more than it should.  With experience the number of options a coach is comfortable using will increase and more tools for dealing with misbehavior and the disappointment it causes will be developed.  Part three of this series will deal with alternatives to punishment.  The goal is to help you be pro-active in filling your “toolbox” with the most appropriate tools to use to fix misbehavior and poor performance.

Punishment in Coaching

          As my coaching career nears the forty year mark I can honestly say I’ve seen plenty of punishment dealt to athletes.  I can also say I’ve seen a drastic increase in the education of coaches in alternatives to punishment over that time.  It’s been approximately 100 years since Pavlov conditioned his dogs to salivate to the sound of a bell (that’s 700 dog years).  Classic conditioning and reward/punishment methods still play a role in motivation.  But, just as the caveman found objects moved easier when you attached them to round rolling things, we have found many alternatives to punishment that are more effective for teaching and motivating than the cavemanish reward/punishment model.   So, why do so many coaches still use punishment as a primary tool in teaching?
          My first answer to this question is that most coaches begin their career coaching the way they were coached.  Punishment will never go away, but it is decreasing in use as more generations of coaches use better alternatives, influencing future generations of coaches.  My second answer is coaches find that punishment can produce the results they want in the short term.  This is a classic coaching trap.  The success we see in the short term blinds us to the long term consequences of our methods.
          Before we go much further, let’s get a clear understanding of what punishment is.  The Encarta Dictionary describes punishment as “a penalty that is imposed on somebody for wrongdoing.”  This seems like a broad definition showing punishment not to be a black and white concept, but one that has some grey areas.  And, this is true.  What eliminates much of the grey area is the word PENALTY.  To be more specific, it doesn’t matter whether an athlete is receiving a true penalty or not.  What matters is that they PERCEIVE they are being penalized.  If an athlete believes they are being penalized for something they’ve done (or not done) they will most likely feel as though they are being punished.  This is a key point for coaches to understand. 

          For example, an athlete performs a skill with less than satisfactory results in the coaches eyes, so the coach asks him to perform the skill five more times.  The coach may believe he is helping the athlete improve by asking for more repetition.  The athlete may feel like the five extra turns are a penalty (punishment) for not performing the skill properly.  For every action we take as coaches we must ask “what does the athlete PERCEIVE the purpose of this action to be?”

          What is the purpose of using punishment?  Our society punishes to decrease the likelihood that a behavior will be repeated.  If you cut off the hands of a thief you will drastically decrease the chances of him stealing again.  If you sit an athlete out of practice for performing poorly, you will eliminate any chance of them performing poorly (while they are sitting out).  You will also eliminate most of the opportunities available for them to improve their performance (because they are sitting out).
          When is it appropriate to use punishment?  Because there are so many better alternatives, it is almost never appropriate to use punishment.  NEVER PUNISH AN ATHLETE FOR POOR PERFORMANCE.  There may be instances where punishment is an appropriate response to misbehavior, but you have to consider two things before choosing punishment.  First, is the behavior really misbehavior or is it something else.  For example, if an athlete isn’t listening to their coach is that misbehavior?  Listening is a skill.  Skills improve with education and practice.  Should we punish our athletes for not listening or should we teach them how to be better listeners?  I choose the second option.  There are few life skills more important than that one.  If the behavior can be corrected with education and practice then punishment is a poor choice.  Second, we must ensure the punishment we choose is appropriate and weigh that punishment against any alternative actions.  If better alternatives exist then punishment is a poor choice.
          Understanding punishment at its root level is pretty simple.  The greatest downfall of using punishment is its effect on education and motivation.  Those topics will be covered in part two of this series.

Punishment in Coaching Part Two:  How Does Punishment Effect Learning and Motivation?

Punishment in Coaching Part Three:  Alternatives to Using Punishment

THE CHALLENGE TO ADULTS IN YOUTH SPORTS: DON'T SPOIL THEIR FUN

   Most kids love to be active.  The opportunities available for today’s youth to be active are much different than they were just a couple generations earlier.  We hear all the time how thousands of TV stations, video games, etc. give young people too many sedentary choices to fill their time.  While I believe this to be true, it’s not the focus of this post, it does however reinforce the points I hope to make.

   Two generations ago was the tail end of the baby boom.  Most neighborhoods were filled with children.  There were ten houses on my side of the street where I grew up and most of the time I didn’t even need to cross the street to find other kids ready to play.  Pick-up games were common in our tiny front yards.  Games were adapted to the number of children on hand and whatever we chose to do.  3 on 3 basketball, 2 on 2 football, Frisbee bombardment, Frisbee football (a precursor to Ultimate Frisbee) a simple game of catch, hot-box, 300, 500, horse, pig, who could kick the longest field goal over the basketball goal.  These were the activities that filled our days.  We participated because the games were fun.  If a game wasn’t fun, we would adapt it to make it fun or stop playing and make up something else.
    After studying motivation in youth sports for over thirty years it’s easy for me to see how fortunate my generation was in regards to sports participation.  Motivation research overwhelmingly supports the belief that intrinsic motivation is the ultimate form of motivation.  Doing something because it’s fun, because you enjoy the activity, to challenge yourself, to complete tasks within the activity, to see improvement in yourself, these all fall under the umbrella of intrinsic motivation.  The flipside of intrinsic motivation is extrinsic motivation, doing something for social recognition, for money, to avoid punishment or disapproval, or just to win a trophy or medal.  My friends and I loved the games we played in our neighborhood.  Our primary motivational forces were intrinsic.
    Self-Determination Theory (SDT) is one of the most widely studied theories in sport and exercise motivation.  The basic concept of SDT is that we are most likely to be intrinsically motivated when three basic psychological needs are met.  These are:
   ·         Autonomy:  The perception of control we have over a situation.  The more we are involved in the decision making process the greater feeling of autonomy.
   ·         Competence:  Our perception of our abilities.
   ·         Relatedness:  A sense of belonging, to a team, to a group of people who enjoy the same activities, etc.
    In that one little block of houses on south Vine where I grew up, our psychological needs for intrinsic motivation were being met most of the time.  The kids had complete autonomy in developing their activities and choosing whether to participate or not.  We had an uncanny (and unknown) skill for enhancing our feeling of competence.  If the activity we developed turned out to be too hard, we modified it to make it more reasonable.  If the activity turned out to be too easy, we made it more challenging.  We had our own methods for handicapping to make up for various levels of skill among the kids participating.  We didn’t have to be told to do these things.  Doing these things is what kept the activities fun and challenging.  It was just logic.
    I will now, finally, get to the point of this post.  The children I grew up with had opportunities to play organized sports and we did, a few months of baseball in the spring and summer, a few months of football in the fall and a few months of basketball in the winter.  Doors were opened to other sports only after we reached high school.  Compare this to my Grandson’s generation where nearly all sports activities are organized and governed by a set of rules dictated by adults.  This isn’t a bad thing, but this slide toward organization by adults has eliminated some valuable experiences for our children.  Even with that, there are still many, many great things happening in the world of youth sports.  Most of these are enhanced by coaches, parents and league organizers who understand the benefits of an intrinsically motivated child. 
    The evolvement of youth sports into what it is today has created challenges for adults that were largely non-existent just two generations ago.  Because a certain amount of structure is necessary for an organization to create a level and fair playing field, a number of decisions that were made by children in “the sandlot days” are now being made by adults.  Adults who recognize this will make an effort to include their athletes in the decision making process whenever it is appropriate and when the children are capable of making the decisions logically.  Not only will this teach a valuable life skill (the decision making process), but it will increase the children’s perception of autonomy (a basic psychological need).
    It’s easy in organized sports for an individual to base their competence on how they compare to other participants.  This is a mistake.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to win a game or a competition, but winning doesn’t give an accurate assessment of competence.  Competitions most often include individuals and teams with varying degrees of skill.  A greater skilled competitor could win a game while performing poorly.  A lesser skilled competitor could lose a game or match while performing at their highest level ever.  A good coach will create a motivational climate where success is based on comparison to past performances and current goals.  They will help the athlete determine a progressive set of goals, creating small stepping stones to success.  This string of small successes creates continual progress which develops a strong feeling of competence and leads to the accomplishment of long-term goals.
    More and more of today’s youth are choosing a single sport and focusing on it twelve months a year.  This specialization isn’t bad as long as a few things are kept in mind.  First, children should be exposed to many different activities at a young age.  If they fall in love with one sport and just can’t get enough of it then more time with that sport is a logical step.  If this eventually leads to specialization, that’s okay.  What’s important is that the child has followed a process of elimination to find the sport they love.  The opportunities can be created and presented by adults, but the decisions in the process should be made by the child. 
    Second, if your child is going to train with one organization twelve months a year, choose an organization with a cooperative style of leadership.  One where the child is involved in the decision making to the extent they are capable, one where guidance, communication and education in the sport are core beliefs vs. a dictator style “my way or the highway” belief system.  Children don’t learn much from a dictator style coach, except how to follow orders.  It’s preferable for your child to be part of an organization that teaches self-discipline (vs. forced discipline), decision making skills (vs. “do what I say”), the process for success (vs. win at any cost), sportsmanship, etc.  It sounds clichéd, but you should choose a program where proper life skills are taught alongside sports skills, because LIFE skills (good or bad) last a LIFETIME while sports skills only last as long as the person is participating in the sport.
    I’ve used a lot of words here to explain one simple point.  Children love to be active.  The challenge to all of us adults is to not mess that up.  If we can meet that challenge we will have happy, productive kids that reach adulthood with many great life skills and positive leadership models to follow.  It’s worth the effort to be that model.  Our legacy lives in the people we’ve touched in our lifetime and how those people use what they’ve learned from that relationship.

WHAT AFFECTS OUR ATHLETES' MOTIVATION?

                There are many variables that have an effect on an athlete’s motivation.  Many of those can be influenced by a coach.  This influence should be applied with the intention of improving the athlete’s sports skills and life skills.  In no particular order, here are several factors that influence our athlete’s motivation and some thoughts on how coaches can make the sports experience more rewarding by understanding the effect they have on an athlete’s emotional state.

                SUCCESS – I know I said “in no particular order”, but this one has to be at the top.  In the big picture, there is no greater motivator than success.  But, we must also understand the opposite of this statement.  There is no greater frustrater than failure.  Multiple successes will lead to progressive motivation.  Multiple failures will lead to progressive frustration.  It is critical that coaches help their athletes define success in a broad way (continual improvement) and in ways specific to a task (goals).  Success should be based on accomplishing things that are largely under the control of the athlete and should involve a comparison to past performance and current goals.  This makes goal setting critical to repetitive success and continued motivation.

                COMPETENCE – Coaches must understand the differences between actual competence and perceived competence.  Actual competence is an athlete’s real ability to succeed.  Perceived competence is the athlete’s belief in their ability to succeed.  In the world of motivation, perceived competence has the greater effect on an athlete.  The ideal situation would be for these to be the same.  We’ve all evaluated athletes as lacking confidence or being over-confident.  These terms refer to the difference, positively or negatively, between actual competence and perceived competence.  We all want confident athletes.  I will argue that we should try to keep our athletes’ perception of their abilities close to reality but that the most confident athletes are those who perceive their abilities as being slightly better than their actual ability (perceived competence is higher than actual competence).

                FEEDBACK – Many times athletes, particularly young athletes, look at the reaction of others to help them interpret results of their performance.  In sports, feedback comes from many directions (coaches, teammates, parents, officials, spectators and the performance itself).  As athletes mature a larger percentage of their feedback will come from self-evaluation.  But with children it’s critical that coaches provide positive feedback that guides the young athlete’s evaluation of their performance.  They will be looking for it and the coach is the best place to find it.  99.9% of performances have some good in them.  Find it and comment on it first, then make corrections.  Tie the corrections to the good points in an effort to help create a complete picture for the athlete.  In that rare occasion when nothing goes right I suggest laughing it off with an “oops” or “let’s pretend you didn’t take that turn.” 

                GOAL SETTING – Setting good goals is a skill that improves with practice and education.  Either formally or informally coaches should be teaching the goal setting process to their athletes.  Good goals lead to repetitive success.  Repetitive success increases motivation.  Goals should be progressive, creating many small steps to help an athlete reach a larger goal.  Each step is an opportunity to experience success and celebrate.  Goals that are too hard or too easy are not motivating.  If you have an athlete that consistently chooses very easy or extremely hard goals, you have an athlete with a confidence (perceived competence) and/or motivation problem.  As coaches, it is our job to help this athlete get back on a goal-track that is nearer to reality so they can experience meaningful success.

                These are four key factors that affect an athlete’s motivation.  As you can see, a coach can and should influence these factors in large ways.  A master-motivator will monitor each athlete’s emotional state, consider these factors and many others and take steps to increase the athlete’s motivation and to teach life skills that will lead to continual motivation.

                I can’t finish this post without a warning.  A coach who uses motivation as a tool to produce results simply to inflate his ego (or bank account) is a great manipulator not a great motivator.  If our own motivation isn’t anchored in doing what’s best for our athletes we should choose to do something other than coach.

HOW FORTUNATE WE ARE TO BE COACHING GYMNASTICS

     The world of education could learn a thing or two from the gymnastics community.  While the system we use to progress our athletes in the sport may not be perfect, its structure is one that would be well suited for our education system.   I recently returned to graduate school for the second time, this time in pursuit of a Master’s Degree in Curriculum and Instruction.  The stories I’m hearing from teachers in the master’s program are puzzling and somewhat troubling.  But, they make me thankful for the evolution of our industry to what it’s become today.
     We all know that gymnastics is taught in a progressive manner.  That every skill has prerequisite skills and once a gymnast has learned a skill, there is always a more advanced skill to accomplish.  Progressions are at the core of what we do as gymnastics coaches.  Our national system is wisely set up based on progressions with few restrictions due to age.  It is a mastery teaching system.  Perform a skill with reasonable proficiency and move on to the next skill.  It’s such a simple and right concept.
     Contrast this to a typical student in the education system.  This student is most often moved up a grade level in every subject, every year with minimal concern given to whether they are over-prepared or under-prepared for the next grade.  Teachers face classrooms full of students with huge variance in knowledge and skills.  Many people in education are trying to fix the system with innovative curriculum, national standards, mandated teaching methods, scripted curriculum and the like.  There is a lot of great information available to help teachers teach our kids and there are many terrible ideas out there as well. 
     Is it futuristic dreaming to think that a system can be developed with subject paths that contain multiple levels of mastery appropriate for the subject, like we do in gymnastics?  For example, could there be forty eight levels of national norms for math?  If the schools offered five, nine week sessions a year, giving students the option of enrolling in 4 or 5 of those sessions, each student would have between 52 and 65 sessions in a thirteen year education career to complete forty eight levels of math and however many levels are deemed necessary in other subjects.  For example; 48 levels of math and science, 32 levels of social studies and English, 16 levels of composition, etc.  Progress through the levels would be based on mastery allowing faster progress in a student’s strong subjects and slower progress when needed.  Students would have the opportunity to pass a level in each session.  If mastery isn’t reached, the student would enroll in the same level for the next session.  Is there anything wrong with a student’s morning class schedule looking like this?

First period:                 Level 7 math
Second period:           Level 10 composition
Third period:               Level 9 Social Studies

Or, even this?

First period:                 Level 5 math
Second period:           Level 5 math
Third period:               Level 10 Composition

     How great would it be for a student who is weak in a subject to be able to take the same class two periods in a row?  What an advantage that would be over the current system where a student who falls behind quite often never catches up.  How great would it be for teachers to have every student in a class at or near the same ability level?  How great would it be for students to have the option of accelerating their education by attending five sessions a year instead of four?  When the required curriculum is mastered in each subject, the student would receive a high school diploma.  For some that may happen at the age of fourteen.  For others it may happen at the age of twenty.  But, whatever the age of completion, all diplomas would represent a mastery of the skills required, giving high school diplomas consistency and meaning that they don’t currently have.  How great would that be?
     While I listened to a teacher explaining how her math curriculum was scripted by a curriculum design company and that every teacher in town was expected to read the same script, ask the same questions and engage in the same activities as every other teacher in that grade level, I became very thankful that our industry is guided by a national curriculum, but allows coaches to coach, individualize our instruction, be creative and do what’s best for the individual child.  Progress is based on mastery and assessments are ongoing and meaningful as opposed to a single letter grade every 9 weeks.  These comparisons could go on and on, but I really just wanted to make two points.  First, we in the gymnastics world are getting it right (not perfect, but right).  And second, if mastery learning and progressive education is such a simple concept, why is our education system still clinging to an antiquated and ineffective structure?

SOMETIMES WE JUST CAN’T DO ENOUGH

Recently, I’ve had two occasions where I wished I could have done more for a gymnast of mine.  The cases for these two girls are similar.  The relationships went deeper than just coach/gymnast and were layered with siblings and parents.  Good families, military, both Fathers officers in the U. S. Air Force.  In both cases, circumstances were governed partially by injuries.  In both cases, I came away feeling as the beneficiary of our relationship.  If I was an accountant, I would say that the credits and debits didn’t balance out in either case, and that I came out ahead in both instances.

One of these girls is leaving the sport.  Injuries not necessarily due to gymnastics but compounded by training have finally reached a point where it’s time to stop.  Maybe, in time, she will be able to return.  That’s still an unknown at this point.  If the only factors in this decision were grit and determination, I would expect her to walk through the door sometime in the next several months.  Unfortunately, there are other factors that have a higher priority (as they should). 

The other gymnast’s Father was re-assigned a few months ago and the family moved to another state and another gym (as military families quite often do).  This gymnast came to us after a shortened season, due to injury, with her team in Hawaii, where the family was previously stationed.  She had a complete season with us and made tremendous progress.  In her second season on our team she was peaking at precisely the right time.  After scoring over 38 all around in early March, landing on the edge of a skill cushion took her out of the state meet only two weeks later.  The injury required surgery and the following season was in jeopardy.  To make a long story short, SHE made the season happen and was a key player in her team’s victory at that year’s state meet.

Like most coaches, I spend a lot of time thinking about my gymnasts.  I know stories similar to these happen all the time, but these two seem to be on my mind a lot.  Perhaps because I wished I could have done more for these two gymnasts and now the opportunity has passed.  Perhaps because I still wonder how, after being dealt the hands they were dealt, they came through smiling and happy.  Don’t get me wrong, accepting their fate was tough.  Persisting through a second comeback from injury in one case and persisting against an immovable opponent in the other case created some heart wrenching moments.  But through it all, they have become young ladies who most parents would like to have their children look up to as role models.

As I’ve thought more about this, I’ve come to realize these two gymnasts are living examples of the old saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”  The words honor, integrity, service, commitment, courage, resolution, honesty and excellence are words that get thrown around a lot in the sports community, their meanings becoming diluted due to over-use or misuse.   But, these same words are the FOUNDATION of the military spirit.  For these families, they aren’t just words on a poster or a coffee cup.  Their meanings are taught and modeled by the Fathers/Officers, their wives and their children.  These words aren’t simply part of their vocabulary they are a way of life.

I’ve always believed a coach’s job is to give.  What I gained from these families involvement with my gym is more than I will ever be able to give back.  I wish I could have given more, but I’ve accepted the fact that in these cases I’m the receiver, not the giver.  And, for that, I am thankful.

 

BADMOUTHING OPPONENTS IN SPORT

What is gained by badmouthing opponents?  Do we get better by making our opponents appear to be bad?  The answers to these questions are “nothing” and “no”.  Yet, some people believe this is part of sport.  That being competitive means you must talk trash about the people you compete against.  

I’ll admit, it’s more easy to be critical than complimentary.  But, if we all enjoy receiving compliments, why aren’t we more willing to give them?  Our skills don’t improve by bad-mouthing our opponents.  Our skills don’t weaken when we compliment them.

If it’s unacceptable to physically hurt an opponent, then it should be unacceptable to verbally damage an opponent as well.

If we, as coaches and parents, model behavior that’s complimentary and respectful of our opponents, our children will learn to do the same.  If we stop listening to those who badmouth, they will no longer have an audience for their misguided comments. 

Developing friendships is one of the greatest benefits of participating in youth sports.  It’s conceivable that we could double that benefit for our children by modeling a healthy attitude toward their opponents.

Go-fer Class, Free Time and Intrinsic Motivation

Many, many years ago while a graduate student I studied everything I could get my hands on about how to motivate children. Of course, I found that intrinsic motivation is preferred head and shoulders over extrinsic motivation.  Therefore, I set out to develop a love of gymnastics in my students that they would never loose. My goal was to ensure that I was providing activities that were fun, that the gymnasts wanted to do because of the thrill of the activity itself. I avoided an overuse of extrinsic rewards and followed any other advice I had picked up in the many hours of library searches. The members of the boy’s team I was coaching at that time were having a great time in the gym and were excelling in competition. So, I assumed I was doing the right thing for them. But, I wondered how I could be sure of that. How could I find out if they were intrinsically motivated or if something else was contributing to their success and motivation? I decided to give them some free time in the gym and see what they did with it. After some safety guidelines were established, I allowed each of the boys to choose what they wanted to do with about a half an hour of their practice time. I watched, spotted skills when they asked, but didn't participate in the choices concerning what they would do. This created such a rewarding experience for me as a coach that I have used the same tool many times over the years. Left to choose what to do with their time, those boys choose similar activities to what we had been training. Of course, their choices leaned a little more toward the new skills we had been working rather than basics, but their preparation turns for those new skills were very logical and responsible choices. Now, you need to know that this group of boys had a regular game of pit football as a pre-warm up, competed doubles off rings before they even dreamed of doing a handstand on those same rings, learned doubles off high bar before learning giants, liked to play music too loud (1982, Eye of the Tiger) and would beg to do snap-down double backs off a mini-trampoline into a pit. Yes, they (or should I say "we") liked to push the envelope. My little experiment with free time, although very non-scientific, showed me that they loved what we were doing in the gym. Of the six boys in that group, three stayed in the sport through college.



Two weeks ago I was reminded of the "free-time tool", it's purpose and the importance of the intrinsic motivation cornerstone of our core philosophy. We had started our summer workouts struggling with basic techniques, causing slow progress and therefore boring practices. Every summer for the last three years I have offered an additional class for my level seven's and up. It's called the Go-fer class and gives the girls opportunities to work on skills and progressions for skills a few levels ahead of their expected level for the upcoming season, to go-fer harder skills. As in the past, the girls loved it. Several level seven's from the previous season did front fulls onto mats in the pit, Tkachev drills, etc. They were fired up. A few days later, I was talking to Jen, who coaches floor and beam. We were discussing our struggles getting the girls through their basic skills with enough time left in the rotation to work new skills. Solid basics, proper technique and good form are keys to our success and we weren't going to lower our standards, but we were boring the girls and they weren't motivated to perform those basic skills to our standards. I pulled the free time tool out of the old tool box.  We used it and it brought the team back to life.  And, guess what? The basic skills improved and are getting back to the standards we expect. The lesson I learned (it's not the first time I've learned this) is that a coach is asking for trouble when he takes the intrinsically motivating activities away from his athletes. As coaches we should create environments and opportunities to enhance our athlete’s intrinsic motivation. We should do what we can to grow their love of the sport, and then let them do what they love.

TIM TEBOW, TEBOWING AND TEBOW-MANIA

     What do you think of TebowMania, Tebowing and Tebow Time? Now that the football season is over and this topic is no longer in the mainstream media we can look back on this in short term retrospect and make a call. When my gymnasts began Tebowing in the gym, I started putting a little more thought into the matter. My vote is that the Tebow phenomenon of the 2011 season was a good thing. Of course, this is based on the effect it had on my little piece of the world.      I believe one of the greatest lessons a coach can teach a child athlete is to seize the opportunities derived from success in sports to do some good. When you do something well it draws attention to you, creating an opportunity to make a difference, good or bad.
     Tim Tebow’s actions drew attention on a world-wide stage and he didn’t let that opportunity slip by. But, what about the gymnast on your team that swings beautiful giants on bars and the little girls who watch her in awe? This gymnast has an opportunity to have an effect on her little piece of the world just as Tim Tebow had the opportunity to affect a large piece of the world. We should teach our athletes to recognize these moments. A well placed compliment or something as simple as “hi, how are you?” can go a long way. With practice, this will become habit, a good habit.
     A lot was made of the fact that Tebow finds a way to win. We should teach our children to play within the rules and try their best to win. I think this is a lesson that is often lost in youth sports, which is a disservice to our children. So many valuable life lessons are learned from the win/lose dichotomy. Sure, whether you win or lose shouldn’t be a priority in youth sports, but the determination to excel within the rules is a lesson we should teach, because it has value for a lifetime.
     If we aren’t teaching our children to excel, what are they learning from us? Keep in mind that excellence is personal. What’s considered excellent for John is not the same as what is considered excellent for Jim. Personal excellence should be based on what an individual has done in the past, their experience and their current goals.
     To the Tebow critics, I say “get over it.” I’m pretty confident that Tim Tebow didn’t consciously think “I’m going to kneel down and pray on national television to draw attention to myself.” Football players spend a lot of time on one knee. Someone devoted to their religious beliefs spends a lot of time praying. I’m sure it was years and years ago that these two things blended for Tim Tebow, somewhere unnoticed by the rest of the world.
     I really should give these critics in media a break though. After all, their job is to attract attention. Or, maybe I shouldn’t, because when you attract attention to yourself, you have the opportunity to make a difference, good or bad. It’s their choice. The opportunity is there. Maybe they should ask themselves “what would Tim do?”

DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'

As coaches, parents and teachers it’s our hope and desire to be a positive influence on the children on our teams and in our classrooms and families. Typically, the rewards we receive for our efforts are consistent and evident. The children in our lives are happy and appreciative. But, how should we feel when these things aren’t so evident? What does it mean when our kids don’t seem to be appreciative or they become critical of us? Have we become bad parents or coaches? NO! Have we lost the ability to influence our athletes and children? NO! Although their appreciation may not always be overtly displayed, the children in our lives are learning from us. They look up to us as role models and they appreciate the things we are teaching them.

Many, many years ago, when I was fresh out of college, I spent a few years teaching physical education before opening my gym. At one of my schools, I had a little girl who loved the activities I planned for the kids, but struggled with her behavior. There was no problem motivating her to participate, but motivating her to follow instructions and treat people right was a challenge. Consequently, she spent a lot of time sitting out of the activities that she loved so much. Her disapproval of this was very evident. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t find a way to get this seven year old to behave. I thought she must hate my class.

My other school was a magnet school where the students applied to attend and were accepted from all over town. I taught this little girls brother at the magnet school. As open house (meet your teacher night) was winding down at the magnet school, this little girl came bursting through the door of my room (yes, she was running in the hall). Her mother came through the door shortly after her with an apologetic look on her face. “She just wouldn’t leave without coming down here to see you” the Mom said. “She loves your classes and talks about them all the time.”

Prior to this conversation, I didn’t believe I was contributing anything positive in this girl’s life. Apparently, I was wrong. I improved as a teacher and coach that day, because I came to understand that although my effect on the children I teach wasn’t always evident, it did exist. I didn’t need to have positive feedback or reinforcement from my students to know that I was having an effect on them. Sure, it’s nice to hear good comments from our students, their parents and other teachers and coaches, but we must continue the journey whether those are present or not. We must understand that our effect, good or bad, on the children we coach is present whether it is made evident to us or not. So, coaches, parents and teachers, don’t stop believin’ that you make a difference and dedicate every minute of your effort to the goal of making that difference a positive one.

MAKE EXCELLENCE REAL - Excuses

In past writings, I’ve asked everyone to look for the positive in youth sports. The point being, there is much more positive than negative, although the negative tends to get more attention. I apologize in advance for not following my own advice in this particular post, but there is something that worries me and I haven’t found a way to discuss it without being critical and a bit negative. So, I’ll be quick with it.

In a quest for perfect children, many parents, coaches, and teachers attribute a lack of competence to things outside the child's control, therefore maintaining the child’s belief that they are exceptional no matter how they perform. That's a bunch of gobblety-gook verbage. What I really want to say is we make too many excuses for our children. Do we really want our children to believe they don't make mistakes?

It is extremely important that we acknowledge the things our children and athletes do well. Even when performing poorly, there are things the child is doing well. Enjoy them and celebrate them with your children and athletes. Coaches should explain what was done well and why it was considered good. When it comes to sub-standard performances, be honest, supportive and brief. Mention what part of the performance didn’t quite meet the desired outcome, but quickly change the focus to a solution. It’s as simple as this “Maybe you didn’t catch that fly ball, but don’t worry about it, we’ll work on it at the next practice. Pretty soon, no one will want to hit balls your way.” Or, don’t mention it at all following the game and structure upcoming practices to work on the weak area. Just don’t make excuses! If Sally doesn’t catch a fly ball it’s not because it was a night game and she wasn’t used to the effect of the moon’s gravitational forces on the ball’s flight. Missing the fly ball was due to circumstances under her control. She needs to know that, so she can make improvements, fix the problem and become a better ball player. If she’s told the reasons for missing the ball were outside of her control, she will assume she doesn’t need to change, that next time, she will catch the ball if those outside forces will just get out of her way.

If we always attribute poor performance to things outside the control of the athlete, we are robbing the athlete of some great opportunities. The desire to learn is highly motivational. If mistakes are always blamed on someone or something other than the student, the student will have no reason to learn (they’re already perfect). How can an athlete, student, employee, etc. learn the process of setting proper goals and goal attainment if the reasons for not reaching goals are always blamed on someone else? Sally might say “Why do I need to change my goals or training? If the moon hadn’t been out, I would have caught that ball.”

Here’s a point most people don’t think about, but is the most critical point to be made. By making excuses for poor performance, we rob our children of the opportunity to feel the sense of accomplishment that comes with improving their skills. We take away the joy of becoming a better athlete, student, musician, etc. When Sally catches a fly ball in the next game, it should come with a sense of accomplishment and a celebration. If excuses were made for Sally, she didn’t believe missing the ball was her fault, and therefore, if she improves her skills and makes a catch, she might think “good thing the moon’s not out”, instead of “YES, I did it. If I get under the ball and keep my eyes on it, I can catch it. Just like coach told me.” Her first reaction attributes the catch to the changing of factors outside of her control and therefore, she feels no significant progress was made in her skill level. The second reaction is a celebration of improved skill and progress as an athlete. Both are reactions to her catching the ball, but they are very different due to feedback she received from her previous experiences. This example is a bit of an exaggeration, but it speaks to a by-product of excuses that most of us never think about. If every time a child performs we tell them they are excellent, no matter the outcome, and if we blame an obviously poor outcome on factors outside the control of the child, how will they know when they’ve improved? According to what we tell them, they are always excellent.

We must find and celebrate excellence in our children and we will if we look for it. We must also be real when it comes to performances that are less than expected. There are many great learning opportunities on the road from novice to expert. Learning to celebrate excellence is one of those. So are overcoming obstacles and improving our weak areas. A large part of what our children learn will come from how the adults in their lives react to their performances. Should we show them how to use the situation as an opportunity to improve and celebrate that improvement, or should we make excuses? Can we ask our children to be honest if we, ourselves bend the truth? Don’t fabricate greatness. Greatness will come with time. Success is relative to a person’s current goals and past performances. Focus your attention on success and excellence will follow. Doing so can make every game or performance a positive experience with honest feedback.

We can’t skew the meaning of excellence in our children’s minds. We must keep excellence real. Then, it will have meaning.

HOW DO WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN?

It appears that the children in our society are more in danger from predators than many of us would have believed prior to the last few weeks. News of alleged inappropriate behavior toward children from coaches in college football, gymnastics and college basketball brings to the forefront the age-old questions, how do we protect our children from people who want to do them harm? How do we allow our children to reap the benefits provided by all the wonderful adults involved in youth sports while protecting them from that small percent of one percent of coaches with immoral motives?

First and foremost, our children must understand what constitutes inappropriate touching. But, if prevention is our goal (rather than reaction), we must teach our kids to recognize the signs of prepping and baiting used by adults to build relationships with children that may allow future abuse. What seems to be common to all the cases reported is that the children involved were allegedly set up for the abuse over a time frame of months or years.

Unfortunately, the things a coach tries to develop in a good relationship with athletes, trust, confidence, care and concern are the very things a pedophile tries to develop when “setting up” future victims. This forces parents, coaches and administrators to walk a very fine line between protecting our children and falsely accusing good people. But, it should also lead all of us to accept and implement certain guidelines that are set in stone and followed without exception. Doing so will go a long way toward protecting our children from that percent of one percent of coaches who want to do them harm and it will protect the nearly one hundred percent of adults involved in youth sports for the right reasons from being falsely accused of inappropriate behavior.

TEN STRATEGIES FOR PROTECTING OUR CHILDREN (and their good coaches)

1. A coach should never be alone with a child, not before practice, not after practice, not during travel.

2. Coaches and athletes should never share hotel rooms when traveling.

3. Coaches should not provide special treatment to one or two athletes compared to the rest of the team. This could be trips to movies or ballgames, gifts, etc.

4. Team sleepovers should be supervised by multiple adults. Use common sense when considering the sex and number of adults supervising this type of activity. Make sure parents are involved.

5. Trust your child’s coach, but not blindly. Trust is something earned, not given. It must be continually earned or it should be taken away.

6. Parents should monitor their child’s relationship with his/her coaches, not in a conspiracy theory, witch-hunt way, but to simply confirm they’ve chosen good people to guide that part of their child’s life.

7. Everyone should report abuse when witnessed. Not hearsay or rumors, but if you witness abuse, REPORT IT!

8. Adults should intervene on behalf of the child when witnessing child abuse (if you can do so safely).

9. Children should understand what constitutes inappropriate touching and know to report it when they see it or experience it.

10. If you are one who is part of that percent of one percent who coach or get involved with youth activities for immoral reasons, please get help.

Note: Although these thoughts are presented in a coach/athlete mode, they can just as easily be applied to many adult/child relationships.