As many of us near our state, regional and national championships, I felt compelled to reprint my first post from nearly a year ago. Although it's simple and short, I feel it's my best.
FINDING THE GOOD IN YOUTH SPORTS
While much discussion and printed material concerned with youth sports focuses on negative issues and circumstances, let us not forget what’s good in the world of youth sports. As is usually the case in life, good things evolve from the involvement of good people. Caring, enthusiastic, and energetic people are abundant on the fields, courts and in the gyms of our children. Look around and you’ll see them.
You may have to look hard at first because the negative influences tend to be more visible. But, keep looking and you’ll soon realize that the good is the majority, an overwhelming majority. Watch the coaches, parents, and officials. Do you see the smiles, the support, and the caring attitude that so many bring to the sports setting? Can you see past the frustrated and the overzealous? If you can, you’ll find the role models that make children’s sports such a fantastic learning experience.
Look at yourself. Take some time to consider your actions and the behaviors you model for the children in your life. When others look for the good in youth sports will they find you? If you’re dedicated to youth sports enough to have found this blog, I’m guessing the answer to that question is yes.
I’m excited to be blogging on the topic of youth sports. I don’t consider myself to be an expert, but I do consider myself to be experienced. I’ve had some great achievements and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. After thirty plus years of coaching, I have some definite thoughts about what’s right with youth sports, why we love sports and how we can help our kids love them too.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
What's Important in Youth Sports? Part 1
What benefits do we as coaches and parents want our children to derive from participation in youth sports? What would the following list look like if you prioritized it from most important to least important? Give it some thought and give it a try. Really, take a few minutes to give each line some thought, decide if it is more or less important than the others and make a list.
Winning
Having fun
Learning goal setting and goal attainment skills
Developing self-discipline
Learning the decision making process
Developing friendships
Achieving success
Winning a lot of awards
Learning good sportsmanship
Developing self confidence
Developing a healthy lifestyle
Choose 2 or 3 of your own and insert them wherever you’d like
This is the first part of a four part series on these topics.
Winning
How important is winning? If the goal in sports is to score more points than the other team, shouldn’t athletes and coaches focus on achieving that goal? Is it wrong to try your best to win a game or competition? Winning a game is an appropriate goal if a child plays within the rules of the game and the guidelines of good sportsmanship. Since the nature of sports is to win the competition by scoring more (or less) points, children should be encouraged to give their best effort toward that endeavor.
Before going further into this discussion, we must first distinguish between being a winner, winning a competition and being successful. The team that scores the most points in a game wins the game. In that instance the players on that team are the winners. Being a winner is defined as somebody or something that wins a competition or somebody or something that is or seems likely to become very successful or popular. By definition, an athlete can be a winner without winning the competition. It’s no wonder parents and coaches are often confused or misguided about how to use these terms. This confusion can be detrimental to children and greatly decrease the benefits of participating in youth sports.
The best advice for adults is to “tell it like it is.” If Suzy’s team scored more goals than Sally’s team, Suzy can be told that her team won the game. Sally can be told that her team lost. Sally is not going to suffer permanent psychological damage from hearing this. In actuality, she will be more psychologically balanced by understanding the win/loss dichotomy.
According to the definitions presented above, it’s possible that Suzy could be told she’s a winner because her team scored more goals than the other team, and Sally could be told she’s a winner because she blocked six shots on goal and refrained from turning cartwheels while the play was at the other end of the field. Assuming these were previously discussed goals.
Coaches and parents should be cautious when telling an athlete they lost the game, but they are a winner. Explaining how Sally was successful in attaining her goals even though her team lost the game would be a better choice of terms. Keep in mind that long term goals should be based on the desires of the athlete and short term training goals should be set by coaches. In order to provide the best feedback, parents need to be aware of the goals.
By helping our athletes understand winning, losing and being successful by using terminology that isn’t confusing, we will allow ourselves to do a couple more great things. First, we can keep score at little league games!!! I’ve never understood why we tell our children the goal is to make as many baskets as possible in the given amount of time and then we tell them we aren’t going to count how many baskets they make. Talk about confusing. Second, when our children understand winning, losing and being successful, we will have more opportunities to teach good sportsmanship. The difference between being a good person and being a good sport is only the setting. By teaching good sportsmanship, we are teaching good people skills.
Having Fun
Yes, this is the most important goal in youth sports participation, but is it the greatest benefit? That’s for you to decide. I look at it this way. The benefit of having fun is short term unless coupled with something that is long term, such as developing friendships or a desire to return to the activity.
The value of having fun decreases if taken in the context of the moment. In this case, once a child changes activities, the fun is gone. No matter how much fun I was having playing sports as a child, when I was called in for dinner and saw spinach waiting on the table, fun was no longer a thought.
There’s nothing wrong with participating for the fun of the moment and youth sports, when done right, will create a lot of fun. That in itself is worth the effort to play. In reality, fun most often leads to friendships and a desire to return to the activity.
Coaches, parents and league administrators should keep in mind that each child will have their own idea of what’s fun. What’s fun for one child may not be considered as fun for another child. What’s fun one day may not be as fun the next day. Winning can be fun. Running, jumping, throwing, catching and kicking can all be fun. Sitting on the bench and talking to your best friend can be fun. If we recognize where our children’s joy comes from, we can do a better job of increasing that joy and attaching fun to long term benefits.
Learning Good Sportsmanship
I’ve chosen winning, having fun and learning good sportsmanship for the first part of this series because they are very much intertwined. Good sportsmanship leads to more fun. Bad sportsmanship leads to less fun. Winning with good sportsmanship is a great thing. Losing with good sportsmanship can also be a great thing. Winning without having fun or winning combined with poor sportsmanship eliminates the benefits that should be created through youth sports.
The key to having fun in youth sports and properly managing winning and losing lies in how people react to the game or competition. These reactions, from players, coaches, parents and officials are called sportsmanship. If a person’s reactions are positive and good, they are a good sport.
How do children learn good sportsmanship? From the people they watch in sports settings. What’s the difference between being a good sport and being a good person? The answer is the setting. A good person in a sports setting is a good sport. When it comes to learning good sportsmanship, who has the most influence on our children? Our potential to influence children is a combination of admiration, respect and time. If our children admire athletes they see on TV, the way those athletes behave will influence our children’s sportsmanship. The same is true for the people our children respect. This could be coaches, teachers, family members or friends. And, time plays a role in a person’s potential influence on children.
Fortunately, parents have the tools to control most of the factors influencing their child’s sportsmanship education. A parent can add commentary to end zone celebrations seen on TV. A discussion about the difference between Barry Sanders respectfully handing the ball to the official following touchdowns and Terrell Owens pulling a Sharpie from his sock to autograph the ball may keep a child from making a poor choice in their next game.
Our children spend a lot of time with teachers and coaches. Parents can, and should play an active role in choosing these people. If your sports league doesn’t allow you to choose your child’s coaches, choose another league. Sports skills, scores and trophies aren’t nearly as important as the role models your child will be following. If you’re not allowed to choose your coach, you should at least have the opportunity to get to know the assigned coach before committing to a team.
Children’s respect for others will be based on what they’ve been taught is important. Children should have a strong sense of family values, what’s right, what’s wrong, etc. before becoming involved in sports. It’s important that parents seek role models who reinforce the lessons being taught at home.
NEXT TIME
Part 2: The benefits of learning goal setting and goal attainment skills
Developing self-discipline
Learning the decision making process
Developing self-confidence
Winning
Having fun
Learning goal setting and goal attainment skills
Developing self-discipline
Learning the decision making process
Developing friendships
Achieving success
Winning a lot of awards
Learning good sportsmanship
Developing self confidence
Developing a healthy lifestyle
Choose 2 or 3 of your own and insert them wherever you’d like
This is the first part of a four part series on these topics.
Winning
How important is winning? If the goal in sports is to score more points than the other team, shouldn’t athletes and coaches focus on achieving that goal? Is it wrong to try your best to win a game or competition? Winning a game is an appropriate goal if a child plays within the rules of the game and the guidelines of good sportsmanship. Since the nature of sports is to win the competition by scoring more (or less) points, children should be encouraged to give their best effort toward that endeavor.
Before going further into this discussion, we must first distinguish between being a winner, winning a competition and being successful. The team that scores the most points in a game wins the game. In that instance the players on that team are the winners. Being a winner is defined as somebody or something that wins a competition or somebody or something that is or seems likely to become very successful or popular. By definition, an athlete can be a winner without winning the competition. It’s no wonder parents and coaches are often confused or misguided about how to use these terms. This confusion can be detrimental to children and greatly decrease the benefits of participating in youth sports.
The best advice for adults is to “tell it like it is.” If Suzy’s team scored more goals than Sally’s team, Suzy can be told that her team won the game. Sally can be told that her team lost. Sally is not going to suffer permanent psychological damage from hearing this. In actuality, she will be more psychologically balanced by understanding the win/loss dichotomy.
According to the definitions presented above, it’s possible that Suzy could be told she’s a winner because her team scored more goals than the other team, and Sally could be told she’s a winner because she blocked six shots on goal and refrained from turning cartwheels while the play was at the other end of the field. Assuming these were previously discussed goals.
Coaches and parents should be cautious when telling an athlete they lost the game, but they are a winner. Explaining how Sally was successful in attaining her goals even though her team lost the game would be a better choice of terms. Keep in mind that long term goals should be based on the desires of the athlete and short term training goals should be set by coaches. In order to provide the best feedback, parents need to be aware of the goals.
By helping our athletes understand winning, losing and being successful by using terminology that isn’t confusing, we will allow ourselves to do a couple more great things. First, we can keep score at little league games!!! I’ve never understood why we tell our children the goal is to make as many baskets as possible in the given amount of time and then we tell them we aren’t going to count how many baskets they make. Talk about confusing. Second, when our children understand winning, losing and being successful, we will have more opportunities to teach good sportsmanship. The difference between being a good person and being a good sport is only the setting. By teaching good sportsmanship, we are teaching good people skills.
Having Fun
Yes, this is the most important goal in youth sports participation, but is it the greatest benefit? That’s for you to decide. I look at it this way. The benefit of having fun is short term unless coupled with something that is long term, such as developing friendships or a desire to return to the activity.
The value of having fun decreases if taken in the context of the moment. In this case, once a child changes activities, the fun is gone. No matter how much fun I was having playing sports as a child, when I was called in for dinner and saw spinach waiting on the table, fun was no longer a thought.
There’s nothing wrong with participating for the fun of the moment and youth sports, when done right, will create a lot of fun. That in itself is worth the effort to play. In reality, fun most often leads to friendships and a desire to return to the activity.
Coaches, parents and league administrators should keep in mind that each child will have their own idea of what’s fun. What’s fun for one child may not be considered as fun for another child. What’s fun one day may not be as fun the next day. Winning can be fun. Running, jumping, throwing, catching and kicking can all be fun. Sitting on the bench and talking to your best friend can be fun. If we recognize where our children’s joy comes from, we can do a better job of increasing that joy and attaching fun to long term benefits.
Learning Good Sportsmanship
I’ve chosen winning, having fun and learning good sportsmanship for the first part of this series because they are very much intertwined. Good sportsmanship leads to more fun. Bad sportsmanship leads to less fun. Winning with good sportsmanship is a great thing. Losing with good sportsmanship can also be a great thing. Winning without having fun or winning combined with poor sportsmanship eliminates the benefits that should be created through youth sports.
The key to having fun in youth sports and properly managing winning and losing lies in how people react to the game or competition. These reactions, from players, coaches, parents and officials are called sportsmanship. If a person’s reactions are positive and good, they are a good sport.
How do children learn good sportsmanship? From the people they watch in sports settings. What’s the difference between being a good sport and being a good person? The answer is the setting. A good person in a sports setting is a good sport. When it comes to learning good sportsmanship, who has the most influence on our children? Our potential to influence children is a combination of admiration, respect and time. If our children admire athletes they see on TV, the way those athletes behave will influence our children’s sportsmanship. The same is true for the people our children respect. This could be coaches, teachers, family members or friends. And, time plays a role in a person’s potential influence on children.
Fortunately, parents have the tools to control most of the factors influencing their child’s sportsmanship education. A parent can add commentary to end zone celebrations seen on TV. A discussion about the difference between Barry Sanders respectfully handing the ball to the official following touchdowns and Terrell Owens pulling a Sharpie from his sock to autograph the ball may keep a child from making a poor choice in their next game.
Our children spend a lot of time with teachers and coaches. Parents can, and should play an active role in choosing these people. If your sports league doesn’t allow you to choose your child’s coaches, choose another league. Sports skills, scores and trophies aren’t nearly as important as the role models your child will be following. If you’re not allowed to choose your coach, you should at least have the opportunity to get to know the assigned coach before committing to a team.
Children’s respect for others will be based on what they’ve been taught is important. Children should have a strong sense of family values, what’s right, what’s wrong, etc. before becoming involved in sports. It’s important that parents seek role models who reinforce the lessons being taught at home.
NEXT TIME
Part 2: The benefits of learning goal setting and goal attainment skills
Developing self-discipline
Learning the decision making process
Developing self-confidence
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Great Moments in Youth Sports
Coaches, parents and sports fans probably have a few recollections of sports history made by chlidren. Nadia is a legend and still known by her first name thirty four years after scoring the first perfect ten in Olympic history as a fourteen year old. Although the Olympics are hardly a youth sports activity, Nadia's age at the time of competition would most definitely be considered young. Every year celebrations following a Little League World Series championship game are broadcast throughout the world.
These are great and historic moments on a global level. But, the truly great moments in youth sports are the day to day interactions between child athletes and the significant adults in their lives, parents in particular.
Greatness is determined on a personal level. What's great to a five year old soccer player may be different than what is considered as great by a high school soccer player. Remembering this simple principle can help parents and coaches enrich the sports experience for their children and athletes.
A great moment for our children is one that affects them personally in a positive way. These could be as simple as Grandma and Grandpa showing up for a t-ball game or as detailed as accomplishing the final step in reaching a long-term goal.
Significant adults in a child's life influence that child's perception of good vs. bad, great vs. terrible and important vs. unimportant. Children watch adults and how they react to situations. They give value to a happening in large part based on the reactions it draws from adults.
Consider these two scenarios. Suzy scores a goal and looks over to see her Mom jump out of her lawn chair clapping and cheering. Sally scores a goal and while running toward the sideline with her arms up in celebration, sees her Mom sitting in her lawn chair reading a book. Each girl scored a goal, but what will each bring away from the experience?
Adults have the ability to make every moment a great moment. Good performances are easy to celebrate. Average performances are sprinkled with moments of greatness, find them and celebrate them. A poor performance can lead to a great moment when parents show their children unconditional love. If a hug is the family tradition following a good game, it should follow a bad game as well. Be consistent with actions that say "how you play does not affect how I feel about you."
Coaches, parents and teammates' parents are role models and their behavior, more than their words, will affect the children on a team. Adults should think before they react with the first goal being to do no harm, in other words, watch your mouth. This should be quickly followed by providing positive experiences for the children involved. These experiences could be as simple as "good catch Johnny" or as involved as a sustained life lesson such as reinforcing persistence or improved self-discipline.
Children will learn from our non-reactions as well as our reactions. How would you like your child to react to what appears to be a bad call by an official? Consistently model the behavior you would like to see and your child will likely choose the same behavior. In the case of a perceived bad call, a non-reaction may be the best reaction.
Many great moments in youth sports happen naturally, but every moment can be a great one if handled properly by the adults involved. No one expects parents and coaches to be perfect, but it is reasonable to expect them to give every effort possible to make the most of all situations.
These are great and historic moments on a global level. But, the truly great moments in youth sports are the day to day interactions between child athletes and the significant adults in their lives, parents in particular.
Greatness is determined on a personal level. What's great to a five year old soccer player may be different than what is considered as great by a high school soccer player. Remembering this simple principle can help parents and coaches enrich the sports experience for their children and athletes.
A great moment for our children is one that affects them personally in a positive way. These could be as simple as Grandma and Grandpa showing up for a t-ball game or as detailed as accomplishing the final step in reaching a long-term goal.
Significant adults in a child's life influence that child's perception of good vs. bad, great vs. terrible and important vs. unimportant. Children watch adults and how they react to situations. They give value to a happening in large part based on the reactions it draws from adults.
Consider these two scenarios. Suzy scores a goal and looks over to see her Mom jump out of her lawn chair clapping and cheering. Sally scores a goal and while running toward the sideline with her arms up in celebration, sees her Mom sitting in her lawn chair reading a book. Each girl scored a goal, but what will each bring away from the experience?
Adults have the ability to make every moment a great moment. Good performances are easy to celebrate. Average performances are sprinkled with moments of greatness, find them and celebrate them. A poor performance can lead to a great moment when parents show their children unconditional love. If a hug is the family tradition following a good game, it should follow a bad game as well. Be consistent with actions that say "how you play does not affect how I feel about you."
Coaches, parents and teammates' parents are role models and their behavior, more than their words, will affect the children on a team. Adults should think before they react with the first goal being to do no harm, in other words, watch your mouth. This should be quickly followed by providing positive experiences for the children involved. These experiences could be as simple as "good catch Johnny" or as involved as a sustained life lesson such as reinforcing persistence or improved self-discipline.
Children will learn from our non-reactions as well as our reactions. How would you like your child to react to what appears to be a bad call by an official? Consistently model the behavior you would like to see and your child will likely choose the same behavior. In the case of a perceived bad call, a non-reaction may be the best reaction.
Many great moments in youth sports happen naturally, but every moment can be a great one if handled properly by the adults involved. No one expects parents and coaches to be perfect, but it is reasonable to expect them to give every effort possible to make the most of all situations.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Behavior - Education vs. Rules and Consequences
We choose how we behave and our behavior comes with consequences. If we eat properly and exercise, we will benefit with better health, the ability to lead an active lifestyle and do more with our time. If we study, either formerly, or informally, we will be more educated. And, of course, misbehavior typically comes with negative consequences. Choosing to behave appropriately is an educational process. We learn what good behavior is and then we choose to behave that way (or not).
I’ve never been a big believer in rules with consequences. I understand they are necessary and I have rules at my gym that we follow and that have consequences. The larger the rulebook, the more police action necessary to monitor those rules and apply consequences. As coaches, we have enough to do without being the “gym police.”
In general, I expect each of my gymnasts to work hard, work smart, be a good person and behave appropriately. Natural consequences occur based on how much or how little these expectations are performed. If you work hard and smart, you will improve. If you’re a good person, you will have good friends and earn respect from those who know you. If you behave appropriately, you will be trusted.
If one of our goals as coaches is to help prepare our athletes to be great adults, then behavioral education should take priority over rules and consequences. We must teach our students appropriate behavior and help them understand why it’s important to act a certain way.
A Light Bulb Over My Head
Every now and then, I get criticized for not having more definite rules and consequences. Over the last couple weeks, some happenings at my gym have helped me more clearly understand why I’ve always been a “not too many rules” kind of person. For months my staff and I have been trying to improve the attendance habits of our gymnasts. A lot of girls were showing up a few minutes late every day and missing practice without good reason. So, I put an envelope on a bulletin board for each girl. Inside the envelopes were three cards. When a gymnast was late to practice, the green card was dated and sent home to be signed by a parent and returned the next practice. A yellow card was sent home when a practice was missed, and a blue card was sent when a practice had to be modified due to injury, emotions or attitude. Penny, who is always at the front desk, got to hear “There’s no way I can get my daughter here on time.” “What happens if we miss too much practice?” “Please don’t punish my daughter for being late. It’s not her fault.” In an effort to save Penny from all the questions, I put out a note to my gymnast’s parents explaining the card system. It was while I was writing this note that I more clearly understood why I’ve never had lots of rules with consequences. Here’s the note:
FOLGER’S GYMNASTICS TEAM – ATTENDANCE POLICIES
Helping our gymnasts develop good habits that will carry over into the adult world and be a benefit for life is a priority at Folger’s. There are few habits that will affect a person’s life more than their habits toward attendance. A person’s reputation is very much affected by their attendance habits.
Good attendance says these things about a person:
* What I’m doing is important to me.
* The people I’m participating with are important to me (my team, my co-workers, my company, my boss, etc.).
* I’m dedicated to this activity (gymnastics, work, school, church, family).
* I respect other people’s time.
* I am trustworthy. You can count on me.
* I have learned a significant amount of self-discipline.
* Doing what’s right is a priority for me.
* Etc.
Here is what we see as good attendance habits:
- Be on time to practice, meets, events, snack breaks, everything that’s scheduled into your day.
- Be at every activity you have committed yourself to.
- Don’t leave early from your activities.
- Participate fully while you’re in attendance.
- Let Mark or Penny know when you can’t do these things (before they happen).
Since we see attendance as a learning experience, we don’t have rules and policies that are set in stone. Our goal is to make sure that all involved (gymnasts, coaches, and parents) are well informed about the attendance habits of the gymnast and working together to make those good habits. Poor attendance habits will create consequences. Top among that list is a decrease in performance quality. Next on the list is a loss of trust and respect from teammates, coaches and others involved. These are natural consequences that come from not being punctual or committed to an activity.
The Card System
Green Card – “I was late to gym.” This card will come home to be signed by a parent each time a gymnast is late to practice. It should be signed and returned at the very next practice.
The Yellow Card – “I missed gym.” This card will come home after the gymnast misses a scheduled practice. It should be signed and returned at the next practice.
The Blue Card – “I modified my practice.” This card will come home when a gymnast modifies their workout due to aches and pains, injuries, emotions or attitude. It’s not a measurement of whether or not they complete their assigned workout. The blue card’s purpose is to monitor how often a coach must modify a gymnast’s workout due to these reasons. It should be signed and returned at the next practice.
Our attendance policies are all about education. Getting accurate information to all involved speeds the education process, and that’s our goal. Obviously, if a gymnast has poor attendance habits and can’t change them, she will be asked to leave the team. Children learn a lot from seeing the consequences that come to people who behave in ways that are not appropriate. Therefore, it would be a disservice to all our girls to allow one gymnast to continue poor attendance habits without an effort to improve.
I’ve never been a big believer in rules with consequences. I understand they are necessary and I have rules at my gym that we follow and that have consequences. The larger the rulebook, the more police action necessary to monitor those rules and apply consequences. As coaches, we have enough to do without being the “gym police.”
In general, I expect each of my gymnasts to work hard, work smart, be a good person and behave appropriately. Natural consequences occur based on how much or how little these expectations are performed. If you work hard and smart, you will improve. If you’re a good person, you will have good friends and earn respect from those who know you. If you behave appropriately, you will be trusted.
If one of our goals as coaches is to help prepare our athletes to be great adults, then behavioral education should take priority over rules and consequences. We must teach our students appropriate behavior and help them understand why it’s important to act a certain way.
A Light Bulb Over My Head
Every now and then, I get criticized for not having more definite rules and consequences. Over the last couple weeks, some happenings at my gym have helped me more clearly understand why I’ve always been a “not too many rules” kind of person. For months my staff and I have been trying to improve the attendance habits of our gymnasts. A lot of girls were showing up a few minutes late every day and missing practice without good reason. So, I put an envelope on a bulletin board for each girl. Inside the envelopes were three cards. When a gymnast was late to practice, the green card was dated and sent home to be signed by a parent and returned the next practice. A yellow card was sent home when a practice was missed, and a blue card was sent when a practice had to be modified due to injury, emotions or attitude. Penny, who is always at the front desk, got to hear “There’s no way I can get my daughter here on time.” “What happens if we miss too much practice?” “Please don’t punish my daughter for being late. It’s not her fault.” In an effort to save Penny from all the questions, I put out a note to my gymnast’s parents explaining the card system. It was while I was writing this note that I more clearly understood why I’ve never had lots of rules with consequences. Here’s the note:
FOLGER’S GYMNASTICS TEAM – ATTENDANCE POLICIES
Helping our gymnasts develop good habits that will carry over into the adult world and be a benefit for life is a priority at Folger’s. There are few habits that will affect a person’s life more than their habits toward attendance. A person’s reputation is very much affected by their attendance habits.
Good attendance says these things about a person:
* What I’m doing is important to me.
* The people I’m participating with are important to me (my team, my co-workers, my company, my boss, etc.).
* I’m dedicated to this activity (gymnastics, work, school, church, family).
* I respect other people’s time.
* I am trustworthy. You can count on me.
* I have learned a significant amount of self-discipline.
* Doing what’s right is a priority for me.
* Etc.
Here is what we see as good attendance habits:
- Be on time to practice, meets, events, snack breaks, everything that’s scheduled into your day.
- Be at every activity you have committed yourself to.
- Don’t leave early from your activities.
- Participate fully while you’re in attendance.
- Let Mark or Penny know when you can’t do these things (before they happen).
Since we see attendance as a learning experience, we don’t have rules and policies that are set in stone. Our goal is to make sure that all involved (gymnasts, coaches, and parents) are well informed about the attendance habits of the gymnast and working together to make those good habits. Poor attendance habits will create consequences. Top among that list is a decrease in performance quality. Next on the list is a loss of trust and respect from teammates, coaches and others involved. These are natural consequences that come from not being punctual or committed to an activity.
The Card System
Green Card – “I was late to gym.” This card will come home to be signed by a parent each time a gymnast is late to practice. It should be signed and returned at the very next practice.
The Yellow Card – “I missed gym.” This card will come home after the gymnast misses a scheduled practice. It should be signed and returned at the next practice.
The Blue Card – “I modified my practice.” This card will come home when a gymnast modifies their workout due to aches and pains, injuries, emotions or attitude. It’s not a measurement of whether or not they complete their assigned workout. The blue card’s purpose is to monitor how often a coach must modify a gymnast’s workout due to these reasons. It should be signed and returned at the next practice.
Our attendance policies are all about education. Getting accurate information to all involved speeds the education process, and that’s our goal. Obviously, if a gymnast has poor attendance habits and can’t change them, she will be asked to leave the team. Children learn a lot from seeing the consequences that come to people who behave in ways that are not appropriate. Therefore, it would be a disservice to all our girls to allow one gymnast to continue poor attendance habits without an effort to improve.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Hall of Fame
I just got back from the Hall of Fame luncheon at USA Gymnastics Congress and three things mentioned from the inductees have stuck in my mind.
Kip Simons admitted he was a little trouble for his coaches Miles Avery and Peter Kormann and then immediately thanked them for not giving up on him. See "Never Give Up on a Child", April 12, 2010 on this blogsite. Although Kip was no child while at Ohio State, it seems his coaches had reason to give up on him, but choose not to. Now, he's in the Hall of Fame. That's the HALL OF FAME!! A place where your name is put to stay forever and ever.
Kevin Mazeika mentioned that much of what he learned about coaching he learned from his father. His father was not a gymnastics coach. See "Mother's Day and what My Parents Taught Me About Coaching", May 9, 2010 on this blogsite. It seems, if we are willing to listen, much can be learned from good teachers, good parents and good people.
Dominique Moceanu was thankful that participation in sports gave her opportunities to make a difference in the world. See "Hidden Opportunities in Youth Sports" from this blogsite, March 17, 2010.
All of the inductees are exceptional athletes and/or coaches. Although all had significant accomplishments to talk about, the speakers focused on comraderie among teammates and coaches, their families, and the friendships they formed along their journey to greatness. Accomplishments create great memories, but frienships travel with you throughout life. All of us, no matter what level of sport participation we enjoy, can reap those same rewards.
Kip Simons admitted he was a little trouble for his coaches Miles Avery and Peter Kormann and then immediately thanked them for not giving up on him. See "Never Give Up on a Child", April 12, 2010 on this blogsite. Although Kip was no child while at Ohio State, it seems his coaches had reason to give up on him, but choose not to. Now, he's in the Hall of Fame. That's the HALL OF FAME!! A place where your name is put to stay forever and ever.
Kevin Mazeika mentioned that much of what he learned about coaching he learned from his father. His father was not a gymnastics coach. See "Mother's Day and what My Parents Taught Me About Coaching", May 9, 2010 on this blogsite. It seems, if we are willing to listen, much can be learned from good teachers, good parents and good people.
Dominique Moceanu was thankful that participation in sports gave her opportunities to make a difference in the world. See "Hidden Opportunities in Youth Sports" from this blogsite, March 17, 2010.
All of the inductees are exceptional athletes and/or coaches. Although all had significant accomplishments to talk about, the speakers focused on comraderie among teammates and coaches, their families, and the friendships they formed along their journey to greatness. Accomplishments create great memories, but frienships travel with you throughout life. All of us, no matter what level of sport participation we enjoy, can reap those same rewards.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
GREAT EXPECTATIONS
As parents and coaches, what expectations do we put on our children? How do our expectations affect our children? It’s been my experience that one of the major causes of dropout in youth sports is children not believing they can live up to the expectations of the adults they are trying to please. But, as anyone who’s spent time educating children will tell you, kids have an uncanny ability to perform to high expectations. So, where does that leave coaches, parents and educators? How do we use high expectations to best serve the children we are coaching without stepping over the line to a point where the kids feel our expectations are beyond their ability?
Try remembering this saying and the L.I.K.E. acronym:
In order to teach a child, we must L.I.K.E. the child.
Listen to the Child
Inform the Child
Know the Child
Evaluate the Child
If we can do these four things, we will have the knowledge we need to keep our expectations at a level that motivates our kids without causing the hopeless or incompetent feelings that come with over-expectations.
LISTEN to the child. Find out what they want to get out of an experience. All children, no matter how young, have some idea of what they want in a particular situation. Listen to what they say and also pay attention to what their body language says. Remember, a smile says a lot without making a sound. If what you’re teaching is getting smiles, you’re probably on the right path. Encourage open communication. Your athletes should be able to come to you and say “I’m not comfortable with that” knowing they will get a supportive reply from you.
INFORM the child. Coaches are guides. Athletes come to us with goals in mind and want us to guide them in a way that will help them accomplish those goals. Informed athletes set more appropriate goals. Since we are the experts, we will provide most of the information our students need to help them determine where they want their sports experience to take them. We should give information freely, while being cautious not to impose our goals and expectations on the athlete.
KNOW the child. The more you get to know a child, the more easily you will be able to read their emotional states and be able to interpret their posture and body language into information that will help you guide them to success. Pay attention to your athletes before and after practices and competitions. Get a feel for their personality so that you can pick up on cues that something is not normal. If coaches or parents are over-expecting of a child, you may sense that in how the athlete trains, their energy level during practice, their posture, or their positive vs. negative attitude. Try to envision your expectations from the child’s perspective. A quote floats around in my head that goes something like this “there is no reality, only perception.” I’m not sure what famous person said it, maybe Dr. Phil. But, the point is that each person’s perception is their reality. Two people will see the same situation differently and each will accept their version as what’s real. While coaching Suzy and Sally, who are at similar ability levels, you may tell them you’d like to see them do cartwheels with straight arms and legs. Suzy may think “wow, I have a coach who wants me to improve my cartwheel and is telling me how.” At the same time, Sally may be thinking “Is he crazy! Straight arms AND straight legs. I don’t think so.”
EVALUATE the child. To keep our expectations at a healthy level, we must have a clearly defined evaluation system. Education is always progressive. With a consistent evaluation system a teacher or coach will be tuned in to the students progress, and therefore, be able to establish expectations that are challenging and in line with what the athlete wants to accomplish.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Thank You - Region 3 Congress
Thank you to all coaches and judges who attended my presentation at USAG Region 3 Congress. The "Root Skill Progression List" and "Front Tumbling Training List" from the presentation can be found in the "pages" list to the right of this post. If there was something else you wanted from the slides, let me know and I'll add it to the list, or if you had questions, please send an email to folgersgym@aol.com.
FYI, the region 3 administrative committee voted to bring congress back to Vail in 2011, if dates, hotel availability, etc. can be worked out. What a nice place!
Thanks Again!
Mark
FYI, the region 3 administrative committee voted to bring congress back to Vail in 2011, if dates, hotel availability, etc. can be worked out. What a nice place!
Thanks Again!
Mark
Thursday, June 3, 2010
WHAT’S RIGHT WITH YOUTH SPORTS?
What’s right with youth sports, a lot, mostly the people, and in particular, parents. In the early stages of sports participation, the most important people involved are the parents of the young athletes. Parents play a large role in what sports their children will participate in, what organizations they will be involved with, and who will be coaching their children. They are the chauffer, wardrobe specialist, nutritionist, psychologist, personal manager and quite often the coach for their budding sports enthusiasts. They are the unsung heroes of little league.
Of all the roles a little league parent performs, which is the most important? While many will disagree with this next statement, I’m going to say it anyway. The most important day to day role of a parent in youth sports (or any children’s activity) is the role of chauffer. I know this seems to trivialize the parents' role, but consider these things before letting that thought take root.
One of the greatest benefits of sport participation is learning to develop good habits. With most of our lives scheduled to the minute, what is more important than habitually being on time and always fulfilling the time commitment we’ve made to a job, organization or team? Since children’s arrivals and departures are dependent on parents, their habits of being early or being late, fulfilling their time commitment or not, will come from their parents.
Drive time gives parents an excellent opportunity to talk to their children with few distractions. Communication is a key ingredient in the parent/child relationship. Take advantage of chauffer time to fulfill your duties as a nutritionist, personal manager, good listener, etc. While your wearing the chauffer hat you have a captive audience. Today's vehicles are rolling entertainment centers. Do your best to eliminate some of the built in distractions that causes and spend some time talking and listening to your children and their friends. Most children appreciate a pleasant conversation with Mom or Dad over watching a DVD on a nine inch screen.
So, parents, relax. One of the greatest life lessons learned from sports comes from simply getting your children to and from practice and competitions on time. It’s simple, it’s easy, it’s necessary, it’s a basic ingredient in a successful lifestyle and it creates opportunities to talk (or just listen) to your children. Keep up the good work!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Exceptional Student/Athletes! How do They do it?
How does a high school student train twenty hours a week in a sport, travel ten to eleven weekends a year to competitions, maintain a 4.0 GPA with honors classes, and become valedictorian of her class? I’m not sure, but I’ve seen it happen several times. Those of you reading this blog, I’m sure, are aware of the incredible children we see in sports. I am constantly amazed by the maturity of children and particularly teenagers who are involved in gymnastics.
How do they do it? What motivates them? Have they learned something we can teach all children to help them be more successful? Are these student/athletes pre-disposed at birth to have this kind of maturity and success or are their extraordinary accomplishments due to skills and knowledge learned from parents, teachers, coaches and mentors? If these are learned skills, what can we do to teach them to the masses? Which skills are most important?
Looking at the three valedictorians and the several near valedictorians I’ve had on my team recently, I see some commonalities. Of course, time management is near the top of the list of skills and habits. It is the web that holds the big picture together. Each of these girls are “ahead of the game” in self-discipline, something you would expect. Obviously, they have above average intelligence. They all sacrificed some social time, but not their social life. They are goal-oriented and seem to have a clear picture of what they want to do with their life earlier than most girls. They have a great sense of priority. Perhaps the one characteristic that sets them apart from most was their love of a challenge, in particular, the challenge of learning, whether gymnastics, calculus, anatomy or all of these. The knowledge gained from an activity was a motivator, but the process of learning, the thrill of learning something new and attaining goals seemed to be what drove them to success. The world of psychology would call them task-oriented.
Task oriented people gauge their success based on effort and how much they improve their skills or increase their knowledge. Winning and social acceptance are less motivating than learning from the process of performing the task, including their mistakes. Don’t get me wrong, task oriented people are competitive. Competition motivates them because it is a learning experience and a chance for social interaction. But, finishing in first place and gaining social recognition is not the driving force behind their participation. I believe this plays a key role in their stability, and therefore, their perseverance as students and athletes. People who are primarily motivated by winning and gaining social recognition (things that boost their ego) are more likely to ride a roller coaster of emotions causing them to enjoy activities less and drop out earlier than task oriented individuals. A person or team can not win all the time. Social recognition is fleeting and not guaranteed even if you are winning. I would almost argue that a person who wins most competitions may pay a social price due to jealousy.
So, is there something we can do, as coaches and parents to develop these traits, habits, skills and desires in our athletes and children? Yes!
We should focus on the process of learning more than the outcome, set goals based on this principle and teach our children to determine success based on those goals. Outcome goals are also necessary, but should be tied closely to the process goals. These outcome goals should be a tool to measure if the process is working the way we want it to. We should consistently reward effort and improvement rather than the final score. Effort and improvement are largely controlled by the athlete, but the final score is affected by many variables outside the athlete’s control. We should create an environment where mistakes are considered part of the learning process and will not be punished.
Why should we want our children to be task oriented? They will enjoy participation more. They will persevere in activities. Their determination of success will be largely under their own control, making the path to a successful future more clear. They will experience the thrill of learning and will be motivated by effort and improvement. Hard work, self-motivation, self-discipline, fun and more enjoyable participation all seem to follow the task oriented person.
But, what about those things that boost our ego, do we have to ignore them? Like most things in life, being at the extreme is not good. So, my answer to this question is, no. Don’t ignore the scores or the social recognition, just keep them in perspective and don’t allow them to dominate your child or athletes desire for participation and for learning.
These super student/athletes love to learn, whether in sports or academics. Much of that is innate, but it can be enhanced by the motivational environment they are exposed to. As parents and coaches, we influence that environment.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
First, Do No Harm
As a young coach I made a mistake that taught me a lesson I remember to this day. I had been coaching a young boy in a recreational gymnastics class for a number of weeks. He was working hard, I was working hard, but he just wasn't picking up any new skills. One day in a moment of frustration I made a comment under my breath about his inability to learn. My stupidity immediately hit me like a ton of bricks. I spun around, and was thankful to see that no one had heard what I said. My feeling of relief was tremendous and equalled the disappointment in myself. What if he had heard me? I would have never forgotten the harm I caused that child (I haven't forgotten the incident even though there was no harm done). What if any of the other boys had heard me? After all, I was a role model for the group.
I didn't sleep well for a few days. I began to realize that success is relative to the individual and that past performance and current goals play a large role in determining success. While success for my class 3 boys team was learning double backs off high bar, success for this boy was learning how to stand up from a forward roll without putting his hands on the floor. I began looking forward to next weeks class. That student deserved more from me and I wanted very badly to give him more. When he made that roll we celebrated, just like we did for the double backs. From that point on, he experienced success more often. He didn't stay with gymnastics long. It was hard for him. But, I hope he learned something good from his time in the sport. I know I did.
A hundred successes won't make up for one incident that does harm to a child. I was lucky. My mistake was only noticed by myself. I hope others learn from my mistake and understand the first mandate of a good coach will be to do no harm. All other goals should follow.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mother's Day & What My Parents Taught Me About Coaching
I've been educating myself as a coach for 30+ years only to find that the best things I bring to coaching I learned from my parents. I'm always saying how my core philosophy has changed very little over the years. I've sometimes wondered, if I'm constantly educating myself to improve my coaching skills and tools, why that core philosophy hasn't changed more. Maybe it's because the most important lessons I try to teach in my gym are lessons I learned before deciding to become a coach, lessons learned from experiences provided by my parents while I was a child. For example;
If you choose to do something, do it with full effort. What I heard from my parents was "if something is worth doing, it's worth doing right." When Nike came out with its "Just Do It" ad campaign, we quickly converted it to "Don't Just Do It, Do It Right" and it has become a mainstay slogan in our gym.
Unless there was an emergency, I was on time to every game and practice. By emergency, I mean something like a car accident.
I may not get this one quite right, but it goes something like this "clean under your own doorstep before cleaning under others." In other words, if you're going to criticize, look at yourself first.
I don't ever remember my parents yelling at an umpire, referee or official. I do remember them making a point that the parents who did were wrong in doing so.
Successful people are self-disciplined. Do what's right because it's right. Don't do something wrong just because you won't get caught. It's still wrong.
My parents didn't try to coach me, unless I asked. But, if the desire was there on my part, they made every effort possible to support my efforts, including building a pole vault box in the ground in our backyard so I could learn to pole vault.
Admit when you're wrong.
Treat people right. I grew up in the baby-boom era and my neighborhood was full of kids. This message was reinforced in every house on the block.
Admit when you're wrong.
Treat people right. I grew up in the baby-boom era and my neighborhood was full of kids. This message was reinforced in every house on the block.
The feeling you get from doing a good deed is reward enough. So, do good when you can, without expecting anything in return.
If you cause someone pain, either physically or emotionally, you apologize and do everything in your power to resolve the situation. And, you shouldn't make the same mistake again.
Hard work pays off. My Dad was a Safeway store manager and sixty hour work weeks were pretty normal. He'd cut back to thirty or forty hours if it was his vacation week (unless we could get him to go somewhere for vacation).
Success isn't based on WHAT a person does. People with similar jobs do similar tasks. Success comes from HOW you do those tasks and the standards you expect from yourself and others around you.
The most important coaching lesson I learned from my parents was to be a good role model. People learn more from the way you act than from what you say. My parents were great role models for me and my siblings and they were great role models for the kids who grew up with us.
I no longer wonder why my core philosophy toward coaching has changed very little over the years. Although my knowledge and skills as a coach have improved, the foundation that supports those has been in place for a long time. That foundation was there for me irregardless of the career I chose. My brother and sister have built careers on the same foundation. When I strip away all the sports skills I teach and look underneath to see what I've taught my athletes that will benefit them for a lifetime, I hope to find this foundation.
National Champion!
Last Friday, Diandra Milliner became the level 10 national vault champion for the second year in a row, scoring a 9.95!!! She added a national floor title to her resume` as well.
Jen Flores, Diandra Milliner and Jennifer O'bar
Diandra has been a gymnast at Folger's since she was in kindergarten and will attend Alabama University next year. Coaching an athlete from kindergarten to college is very rewarding. Jennifer O'bar who came to Folger's as a coach about the same time "D" came to us as a gymnast has been there for the whole journey and has played a big role in Diandra's success, as has Jennifer Flores who has been with us for several years now. Good Job "D" and good job coaches!!
UPDATE (4/29/2013): Diandra won vault at the 2013 NCAA National Championships and placed second on floor. The University of Alabama won the team titles at the 2011 and 2012 NCAA National Championships. "D"s going to need a new jewelry case as she will now have 3 national champion rings and 6 All-American titles in her first 3 years at Alabama.
Diandra has been a gymnast at Folger's since she was in kindergarten and will attend Alabama University next year. Coaching an athlete from kindergarten to college is very rewarding. Jennifer O'bar who came to Folger's as a coach about the same time "D" came to us as a gymnast has been there for the whole journey and has played a big role in Diandra's success, as has Jennifer Flores who has been with us for several years now. Good Job "D" and good job coaches!!
UPDATE (4/29/2013): Diandra won vault at the 2013 NCAA National Championships and placed second on floor. The University of Alabama won the team titles at the 2011 and 2012 NCAA National Championships. "D"s going to need a new jewelry case as she will now have 3 national champion rings and 6 All-American titles in her first 3 years at Alabama.
Rachael Morrison, our other JO National qualifier, placed 9th on vault and 15th all around. Way to go Rach! This was Rachael's second trip to nationals. She has not yet chosen a college. Rachael has been part of the Folger's family since before kindergarten.
Rachael Morrison and Mark Folger
Jen, "Rach" and Jennifer
Photos courtesy of Mark Baldwin, 2010 Folger's New Year Invitational
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