WHAT’S RIGHT WITH YOUTH SPORTS?

     What’s right with youth sports, a lot, mostly the people, and in particular, parents. In the early stages of sports participation, the most important people involved are the parents of the young athletes. Parents play a large role in what sports their children will participate in, what organizations they will be involved with, and who will be coaching their children. They are the chauffer, wardrobe specialist, nutritionist, psychologist, personal manager and quite often the coach for their budding sports enthusiasts. They are the unsung heroes of little league.

     Of all the roles a little league parent performs, which is the most important? While many will disagree with this next statement, I’m going to say it anyway. The most important day to day role of a parent in youth sports (or any children’s activity) is the role of chauffer.  I know this seems to trivialize the parents' role, but consider these things before letting that thought take root. 

     One of the greatest benefits of sport participation is learning to develop good habits. With most of our lives scheduled to the minute, what is more important than habitually being on time and always fulfilling the time commitment we’ve made to a job, organization or team? Since children’s arrivals and departures are dependent on parents, their habits of being early or being late, fulfilling their time commitment or not, will come from their parents.

     Drive time gives parents an excellent opportunity to talk to their children with few distractions.  Communication is a key ingredient in the parent/child relationship. Take advantage of chauffer time to fulfill your duties as a nutritionist, personal manager, good listener, etc.  While your wearing the chauffer hat you have a captive audience.  Today's vehicles are rolling entertainment centers.  Do your best to eliminate some of the built in distractions that causes and spend some time talking and listening to your children and their friends.  Most children appreciate a pleasant conversation with Mom or Dad over watching a DVD on a nine inch screen.

     So, parents, relax. One of the greatest life lessons learned from sports comes from simply getting your children to and from practice and competitions on time. It’s simple, it’s easy, it’s necessary, it’s a basic ingredient in a successful lifestyle and it creates opportunities to talk (or just listen) to your children.  Keep up the good work!

Exceptional Student/Athletes! How do They do it?

How does a high school student train twenty hours a week in a sport, travel ten to eleven weekends a year to competitions, maintain a 4.0 GPA with honors classes, and become valedictorian of her class? I’m not sure, but I’ve seen it happen several times. Those of you reading this blog, I’m sure, are aware of the incredible children we see in sports. I am constantly amazed by the maturity of children and particularly teenagers who are involved in gymnastics.

How do they do it? What motivates them? Have they learned something we can teach all children to help them be more successful? Are these student/athletes pre-disposed at birth to have this kind of maturity and success or are their extraordinary accomplishments due to skills and knowledge learned from parents, teachers, coaches and mentors? If these are learned skills, what can we do to teach them to the masses? Which skills are most important?

Looking at the three valedictorians and the several near valedictorians I’ve had on my team recently, I see some commonalities. Of course, time management is near the top of the list of skills and habits. It is the web that holds the big picture together. Each of these girls are “ahead of the game” in self-discipline, something you would expect. Obviously, they have above average intelligence. They all sacrificed some social time, but not their social life. They are goal-oriented and seem to have a clear picture of what they want to do with their life earlier than most girls. They have a great sense of priority. Perhaps the one characteristic that sets them apart from most was their love of a challenge, in particular, the challenge of learning, whether gymnastics, calculus, anatomy or all of these. The knowledge gained from an activity was a motivator, but the process of learning, the thrill of learning something new and attaining goals seemed to be what drove them to success. The world of psychology would call them task-oriented.

Task oriented people gauge their success based on effort and how much they improve their skills or increase their knowledge. Winning and social acceptance are less motivating than learning from the process of performing the task, including their mistakes. Don’t get me wrong, task oriented people are competitive. Competition motivates them because it is a learning experience and a chance for social interaction. But, finishing in first place and gaining social recognition is not the driving force behind their participation. I believe this plays a key role in their stability, and therefore, their perseverance as students and athletes. People who are primarily motivated by winning and gaining social recognition (things that boost their ego) are more likely to ride a roller coaster of emotions causing them to enjoy activities less and drop out earlier than task oriented individuals. A person or team can not win all the time. Social recognition is fleeting and not guaranteed even if you are winning. I would almost argue that a person who wins most competitions may pay a social price due to jealousy.

So, is there something we can do, as coaches and parents to develop these traits, habits, skills and desires in our athletes and children? Yes!

We should focus on the process of learning more than the outcome, set goals based on this principle and teach our children to determine success based on those goals. Outcome goals are also necessary, but should be tied closely to the process goals. These outcome goals should be a tool to measure if the process is working the way we want it to. We should consistently reward effort and improvement rather than the final score. Effort and improvement are largely controlled by the athlete, but the final score is affected by many variables outside the athlete’s control. We should create an environment where mistakes are considered part of the learning process and will not be punished.

Why should we want our children to be task oriented? They will enjoy participation more. They will persevere in activities. Their determination of success will be largely under their own control, making the path to a successful future more clear. They will experience the thrill of learning and will be motivated by effort and improvement. Hard work, self-motivation, self-discipline, fun and more enjoyable participation all seem to follow the task oriented person.

But, what about those things that boost our ego, do we have to ignore them? Like most things in life, being at the extreme is not good. So, my answer to this question is, no. Don’t ignore the scores or the social recognition, just keep them in perspective and don’t allow them to dominate your child or athletes desire for participation and for learning.

These super student/athletes love to learn, whether in sports or academics. Much of that is innate, but it can be enhanced by the motivational environment they are exposed to. As parents and coaches, we influence that environment.

First, Do No Harm

As a young coach I made a mistake that taught me a lesson I remember to this day.  I had been coaching a young boy in a recreational gymnastics class for a number of weeks.  He was working hard, I was working hard, but he just wasn't picking up any new skills.  One day in a moment of frustration I made a comment under my breath about his inability to learn.  My stupidity immediately hit me like a ton of bricks.  I spun around, and was thankful to see that no one had heard what I said.  My feeling of relief was tremendous and equalled the disappointment in myself.  What if he had heard me?  I would have never forgotten the harm I caused that child (I haven't forgotten the incident even though there was no harm done).  What if any of the other boys had heard me?  After all, I was a role model for the group. 

I didn't sleep well for a few days.  I began to realize that success is relative to the individual and that past performance and current goals play a large role in determining success.  While success for my class 3 boys team was learning double backs off high bar, success for this boy was learning how to stand up from a forward roll without putting his hands on the floor.  I began looking forward to next weeks class.  That student deserved more from me and I wanted very badly to give him more.  When he made that roll we celebrated, just like we did for the double backs.  From that point on, he experienced success more often.  He didn't stay with gymnastics long.  It was hard for him.  But, I hope he learned something good from his time in the sport.  I know I did.

A hundred successes won't make up for one incident that does harm to a child.  I was lucky.  My mistake was only noticed by myself.  I hope others learn from my mistake and understand the first mandate of a good coach will be to do no harm.  All other goals should follow.

Mother's Day & What My Parents Taught Me About Coaching

I've been educating myself as a coach for 30+ years only to find that the best things I bring to coaching I learned from my parents.  I'm always saying how my core philosophy has changed very little over the years.  I've sometimes wondered, if I'm constantly educating myself to improve my coaching skills and tools, why that core philosophy hasn't changed more.  Maybe it's because the most important lessons I try to teach in my gym are lessons I learned before deciding to become a coach, lessons learned from experiences provided by my parents while I was a child.  For example;

If you choose to do something, do it with full effort. What I heard from my parents was "if something is worth doing, it's worth doing right." When Nike came out with its "Just Do It" ad campaign, we quickly converted it to "Don't Just Do It, Do It Right" and it has become a mainstay slogan in our gym.

Unless there was an emergency, I was on time to every game and practice.  By emergency, I mean something like a car accident.

I may not get this one quite right, but it goes something like this "clean under your own doorstep before cleaning under others."  In other words, if you're going to criticize, look at yourself first.

I don't ever remember my parents yelling at an umpire, referee or official. I do remember them making a point that the parents who did were wrong in doing so.
Successful people are self-disciplined.  Do what's right because it's right.  Don't do something wrong just because you won't get caught.  It's still wrong.

My parents didn't try to coach me, unless I asked.  But, if the desire was there on my part, they made every effort possible to support my efforts, including building a pole vault box in the ground in our backyard so I could learn to pole vault.

Admit when you're wrong.

Treat people right.  I grew up in the baby-boom era and my neighborhood was full of kids.  This message was reinforced in every house on the block. 

The feeling you get from doing a good deed is reward enough.  So, do good when you can, without expecting anything in return.

If you cause someone pain, either physically or emotionally, you apologize and do everything in your power to resolve the situation.  And, you shouldn't make the same mistake again.

Hard work pays off. My Dad was a Safeway store manager and sixty hour work weeks were pretty normal. He'd cut back to thirty or forty hours if it was his vacation week (unless we could get him to go somewhere for vacation).

Success isn't based on WHAT a person does.  People with similar jobs do similar tasks.  Success comes from HOW you do those tasks and the standards you expect from yourself and others around you.

The most important coaching lesson I learned from my parents was to be a good role model.  People learn more from the way you act than from what you say.  My parents were great role models for me and my siblings and they were great role models for the kids who grew up with us. 

I no longer wonder why my core philosophy toward coaching has changed very little over the years.  Although my knowledge and skills as a coach have improved, the foundation that supports those has been in place for a long time.  That foundation was there for me irregardless of the career I chose.  My brother and sister have built careers on the same foundation.  When I strip away all the sports skills I teach and look underneath to see what I've taught my athletes that will benefit them for a lifetime, I hope to find this foundation.

National Champion!

Last Friday, Diandra Milliner became the level 10 national vault champion for the second year in a row, scoring a 9.95!!!  She added a national floor title to her resume` as well.

                  Jen Flores, Diandra Milliner and Jennifer O'bar

Diandra has been a gymnast at Folger's since she was in kindergarten and will attend Alabama University next year. Coaching an athlete from kindergarten to college is very rewarding. Jennifer O'bar who came to Folger's as a coach about the same time "D" came to us as a gymnast has been there for the whole journey and has played a big role in Diandra's success, as has Jennifer Flores who has been with us for several years now. Good Job "D" and good job coaches!!

UPDATE (4/29/2013):  Diandra won vault at the 2013 NCAA National Championships and placed second on floor.  The University of Alabama won the team titles at the 2011 and 2012 NCAA National Championships.  "D"s going to need a new jewelry case as she will now have 3 national champion rings and 6 All-American titles in her first 3 years at Alabama.

Rachael Morrison, our other JO National qualifier, placed 9th on vault and 15th all around.  Way to go Rach!  This was Rachael's second trip to nationals.  She has not yet chosen a college.  Rachael has been part of the Folger's family since before kindergarten.

Rachael Morrison and Mark Folger

Jen, "Rach" and Jennifer

Photos courtesy of Mark Baldwin, 2010 Folger's New Year Invitational

Feedback in Children's Sports

Parents, coaches, teammates, officials, the crowd, and the performance itself all provide feedback during and after a child’s sports performance. The chronology of this feedback is important. Understanding where we fit in the order of feedback given to an athlete will help each of us provide the most useful information to that athlete. I’ll use gymnastics as an example. Following a performance in competition, a gymnast will get feedback in this order, or something close to it:

1. From the performance itself (a self-evaluation)
2. Crowd reaction may play a role at this point
3. From their coach or coaches
4. From their teammates
5. From the immediate environment (other coaches or gymnasts in the area)
6. From the judge (a score)
(In a women’s meet they will repeat this process 4 times, once for each event).
7. From the awards ceremony (where did they place on each event)
8. From parents, family and friends who were in attendance

Every sport has its own chronology of feedback. In some sports feedback from an official is nearly immediate, “Strike three, you’re out!” putting it in front of information from a coach or teammate. In other sports, such as gymnastics, it’s delayed. We teach our gymnasts to set their goals based on performance standards, not scores. While judges are calculating scores we have an opportunity to give feedback based on performance and goals. This puts coach feedback in the line up before judge feedback, which works great for us.

For best results, all adults involved need to understand the typical order of feedback in their child’s sport and how it affects their role in the situation. A coach or parents place in the line up will have an affect on what type of feedback they should provide. A parent shouldn’t run to the dugout to tell their child to “watch the ball ‘til it hits the bat”, and a coach shouldn’t go home for dinner with the family just to say how much he liked Johnny’s diving catch in the second inning. A tuned in coaching staff can manipulate the order to a certain degree. And they should if that’s what’s best for the athlete.

After a game, Johnny has heard from his coaches, teammates, the umpires and himself concerning his performance. He doesn’t need technical information from his parents at that moment. What he’d probably enjoy is hearing what they liked best about the game. “Nice diving catch in the second.” Not technical information, just what made his parent’s happy. It would be good for him to hear what his parents enjoyed about how others played as well, as long as it’s not a comparison to his performance.

Not only should the adults involved be aware of the order of feedback given, but they should also consider the importance the athlete gives to each piece of feedback and should have a clear understanding of their role as a feedbacker (I think I made that word up, but it seems to fit, so I’ll run with it).

 

Pat Summerall: “John, this team has quite a feedbacker crew.”

John Madden: “I’ll say, have you been watching that middle feedbacker. He’s over here, then he’s over there, then he’s back down here. He seems to be everywhere. That young athlete’s lucky to have someone he can trust on his side. It’s seems like the feedbacker can read his mind and knows just what to say.”

 

Pat: “Ya, what about that blitzing feedbacker?”

John; “He’s always first on the scene, throwing encouragement everywhere, there’s still some lying on the field, see it over there. He mixes in a little technical or tactical information, followed by some more positive comments, and WAM, you’ve got a feedback sandwich. Makes me hungry, anyone seen my turkey?”

 

Pat: “Later John.”

John: “oh, oh yeah. And, those outside feedbackers, they cover their territory, analyze the situation and never leave their posts unless needed.

Pat: “Don’t forget those drop-back feedbackers.”

John: “Oh, of course not. Every kid needs his drop-back feedbackers. Those who drop-back, watch the whole scene and provide unconditional, positive support. This kid’s parents are great at that.”

Everyone plays a role in the process. Coaches and parents in particular, but also officials, teammates, parents of teammates, etc. need to consider:

- Where you are in the feedback line-up.
- What are the needs of the child athlete when they reach your spot in the line-up.
- Are you the right person to fill those needs or should another “feedbacker” take that role?

With a little practice you will get very good at this quick analysis and you’ll find that you are there when you need to be, not there when you shouldn’t be and comfortable knowing your child is getting the best feedback available.

Underswing 1/2 to Handstand or Bail to Handstand

Last week I came across a good discussion on www.gymnasticscoaching.com about the underswing 1/2 turn to handstand on bars (also called a bail to handstand). There were a couple good videos showing two very different teaching methods.  I think you can find the video on gymnastike.com also.  Both methods seemed to have created good results for the coaches using them. One was called the one arm drop drill. This is similar to the way I teach this skill.  I actually use 4 progressive one hand release drills. Each is mastered very quickly. Using these 4 drills for a few weeks before doing an underswing has helped my gymnasts get a good feel for the skill, understand how easy the skill is to perform, and easily go to handstand without a leg separation. I'm including a brief description of each step. Some look so simple you'll wonder why they're necessary and will want to skip them. DON'T. Each has its purpose.

Step 1: Getting the proper shape, understanding that when you let go with one hand before the other your body will turn, and learning where to look, are the goals of this drill. Have the gymnast look at the feet of the spotter (since there is no low bar to look at). I do this on the low bar to save time. You can do 6 or 7 girls in a minute, and the girls can learn to spot each other if you choose.


Step 2: Same as step 1, but on the high bar. Now there is a low bar to look at and the gymnast can get a real feel for the skill. I don't let the girls spot each other on this one.

Step 3: This is the step where you reinforce the one hand release to initiate the turn. My experience has been that when the girls start swinging into the drill they want to turn their body from the toes or hips. Don't let them. The beauty of the one hand release technique is that the gymnast has to do very little work to make the skill happen. Because releasing one hand at a time turns the body, there is no tap necessary, no torque on the lower body, and therefore less possibility of the legs separating. A tight gymnast simply lets her swing rise, releases one hand, then the other and FALLS to the low bar. If you spot lightly or a little later, you will find out if they are turning before releasing the hand. Push them up without turning them to see if they are trying to turn from the toes or hips.

Step 4: I only do this step a few times. As you can see on the video, the swing back down from the one hand release could get a little crazy. The purpose of this step is to make sure the gymnast can cast into the one hand release drill with the same technique as they used swinging into it. Once that has been established, there is no need to continue doing this step. I tell my gymnasts that it's easier to actually do the skill than it is to do this step. They usually agree.


Here are some notes to help you learn from my mistakes teaching this skill over the years.

- Teach this skill to a handstand. An underswing 1/2 to horizontal is a completely different skill than one to a handstand. So, why teach it twice?

- My girls believe this is the easiest skill of its value in the code of points (because that's what I tell them and because it is). Girls who compete this skill reinforce that point for the girls who are learning it. It takes very little physical effort to perform it properly.

- Do the skill over and over from a small cast before increasing the cast height or going from a giant.

- When it's time to do the skill without a spot, I use a mat over the low bar and/or have the girls do the skill to a padded deck.

- Don't have the gymnast tap or try to turn their body (all they need to do is let the swing rise, release one hand at a time, see the low bar and be tight).

- The arm doesn't drop away from the body on these drills (or on the underswing). Arms stay by the ears, where they will be in the handstand.

Goal Setting and Motivation

A sense of accomplishment increases motivation.  Success and accomplishment are relative to past performance and current goals.  Therefore, choosing appropriate goals plays a key role in consistent motivation.  I use a simple flow-chart I call the Progressive Motivation Cycle to remind myself and my staff of the relationship between setting goals and motivation.

The Blue Cycle is the preffered cycle.  When our athletes are rolling along in the blue cycle, life is great.  Accomplishing one goal is followed by training for the next goal, completing that goal successfully and repeating the process over and over. 

I don't want to delve too deeply into the nuts and bolts of goal setting except to say that goals should be:

*Written, so all involved understand them clearly.

*Measurable.  "I want to be a better free throw shooter" is not a measurable goal.  "I want to make 65% of my free throws this week in practice" is measurable and objective.

*Goals should not be too hard or too easy. 

*Goals should be progressive.

*Long term and medium range goals should be set by the athlete.

Choosing appropriate goals will keep our athletes in the blue cycle more often than not.  It is critical that the athletes set their own medium and long term goals.  I see it like this.  With good information, the athletes decide where they want to go in the sport and the coaches guide them to that point.  The athlete's decide where to go, the coaches decide how to get there.  The athletes get input from coaches and other sources to help them set their medium and long term goals and the coaches get input from the athletes to help them set the day to day, hour to hour, minute by minute goals for training.  As an athlete grows and matures, the overlap of these roles increases. 

Young athletes will easily set long term goals.  "I want to go to the Olympics."  "I want to compete in college."  "I want to qualify for the state meet."  Coaches should fill in goals between where the athlete is in their current development and the athletes nearest goal (qualifying for the state meet).  Coaches should also be developing goal setting skills in their athletes.  As these skills improve, there will be less and less "in between goals" for the coach to write.

Coaches can use these "in between goals" as a tool to keep their athletes operating in the blue cycle.  Write small progressive goals that will create a string of successful accomplishments.  Beware of goals that are too easy, but use as many small challenging goals as it takes to reach the big goals. 

Goal discrepancy simply means the outcome of the performance didn't meet the standards set in the goal.  This is the black level of the Progressive Motivation Cycle.  Since none of us, athletes or coaches, are perfect, all of us will venture into the black level.  What's important is how we react to our goal discrepancies and how we teach our athletes to react when goals aren't met.  The black level creates opportunities for education.  Look at the difference between the actual results and the goal.  Decide why there's a discrepancy.  Set a new goal and make plans for how to accomplish that goal.  Maybe the goal attempted could have been broken into 2 or 3 goals to make the learning process move along more smoothly and with more focus.  Maybe a particular training technique wasn't as effective as you'd hoped.  The old saying "learn from your mistakes" applies to this level. 

An innapropriate response to goal discrepancy will take an athlete (or coach) into the red level of the Progressive Motivation Cycle.  Frustration is usually the kick-off point for the red level.  Good coaches and mature athletes will learn to recognize frustration or dissapointment early.  This skill will help coaches pull athletes back from the red level before they decide to drop out, or begin misbehaving.  Athletes will usually follow the coaches lead in this process.  So, coaches remember, the behavior you model when a goal is not met will very likely be accepted as the most appropriate behavior by your athletes.  You may be frustrated or dissapointed, but you must get to WHY the goal wasn't met, WHAT the next goal will be and HOW you and your athlete will accomplish that goal.  As soon as those things are done, you are back in the blue cycle.

For a more detailed look at the Progressive Motivation Cycle, go to http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=the+progressive+motivation+cycle

Me and My Gymnasts. Sometimes I'm teaching them. Sometimes they're teaching me.

Awhile back one of my best gymnasts seemed to be lacking intensity at practice. She was typically a hard worker and had been very successful the last few years. But, for a few weeks she had been hard to motivate. She was still getting a lot done during her training time, and doing well at competitions (high 37’s and low 38’s). But, she wasn’t her usual self. So, of course, I was trying to figure out why. Maybe she’s bored, I thought. She’s been a level 10 since eighth grade (she’s now a junior). Maybe she’s getting a big head, a case of over-confidence. She has had three very successful seasons in a row and has committed to a top college. Four local TV stations have done pieces about her, with interviews. Maybe she’s just getting lazy.  Or, maybe because of her immense talent and successful competitions, she thinks its okay to coast along.


One day I casually mentioned to her that we needed to step up the intensity and get it back to where it used to be. Several days later when things hadn’t changed, I called her over and talked to her a little more in-depth about maintaining her standards, setting appropriate goals, and that while she was coasting, other gymnasts were improving (typical coach-talk).


Her reply didn’t surprise me, but the emotion that came with the reply did. The content of her response was “I’m trying the best I can. I’m doing everything you ask me to do. I’ve got three honors classes that are keeping me up late. I’m training twenty hours a week. I almost never miss practice. I’m taking extra classes to graduate early.” The emotion in her reply seemed to say “why don’t you believe me. This conversation is upsetting me.”


My response to that was something like “it’s not going to get any easier in college. Your professors and college coaches aren’t going to listen to reasons why you aren’t getting things done, they’ll just expect you to get them done.” I should have immediately slapped myself on the forehead and said “duh, good response coach.”


I spent the rest of that night and the next day thinking about how poorly I had handled the situation. A week later, I can still see her face and feel the emotion from when she said “I’m doing the best I can.” And, I now believe she was. Maybe she should have said “listen old man, you’re not seeing the whole picture here.” She would have been right.


Some of the points I was trying to make were valid. College is not always easy and college athletes need to be organized, prepared, and diligent in their effort to succeed in their sport and in the classroom. There was no doubt that her intensity had dropped off a bit. But, dealing with those things weren’t the lessons that needed to be taught at that moment. The lesson that needed to be taught at that moment was delivered TO me, not FROM me. I’ve coached this gymnast since she was six years old. I should have trusted her. All I needed to do was ask her why things had changed over the last few weeks. The best solution would have come from good communication, not accusation. If her intensity in the gym had dropped off a percent or two it was very likely that she had stepped it up a few percentage points in her schoolwork.  The balance between those is not always perfect.  The two tend to ebb and flow together.  An important lesson that she is learning.  Unbeknownst to her, her emotion-filled reaction in this situation was a good lesson for me. I hope I learned enough to get an “A”.

ADDED AUGUST, 2011
This gymnast did graduate from high school early.  She left Wichita in December to join the University of Alabama gymnastics team.  In April, three of the twenty scores used by the Alabama team to win the NCAA National Championships were hers.  In May, she walked with her high school class at graduation as an NCAA National Champion.

Never Give Up on a Child

Coaches, teachers, parents, administrators, and counselors should never give up on a child. Children need and want guidance. They may not act like it, but they do. They may not overtly accept the bits of wisdom given to them by the adults in their lives and they may not act like the role models in their lives, but they are learning from both.

Many times after practice I have thought there is nothing more I can do for a child because (any of these reasons):

She doesn’t want to be here.
She doesn’t listen.
She can’t make corrections.
She doesn’t understand what we’re trying to accomplish.
She’s lazy.
She’s easily distracted (and, therefore, becomes a distraction).
She’s afraid of her skills.
She’s given up on herself.

I’ll admit. There have been times when I thought some of my gymnasts should give up the sport and do something else. Then I came to my senses and asked myself WHY some of the things on this list may be true. Why doesn’t she want to be at practice? Why is she easily distracted? Why is she not progressing?



There are a lot of variables that play a role in an athlete’s success/failure and persistence/dropout. I like to visualize these variables on a bar graph, each variable with its own level of competence. If an athlete is frustrated, unmotivated, and just not having fun, the cause is likely rooted in one of the areas represented by a low bar on the graph.


I’ve heard these thousands of times (and I’ve said them myself), “she just doesn’t listen” or “she just isn’t flexible” or “she’s lazy” or the one that inspired this blog post “I just don’t know what to do for her until she fixes (insert weak area here).” Whoa, stop the presses, rewind. “until SHE fixes”? Do we really want to tell our athletes “when you’ve fixed your problems, come to me and I’ll coach you.” Of course we don’t. It’s our job to look at the bar graph and help our athletes be competent in all areas. An extra amount of time and effort should be given to the lowest bars on the graph. After all, those are the variables which will most likely cause frustration, practices that aren’t fun, and dropout. The greatest gains will be made in the areas of least competence. A gymnast who improves her flexibility from 90% competency to 95% will benefit from that, but not near as much as the gymnast who improves listening skills from 20% to 40%.


As coaches, we get frustrated with our athletes. At that point, we can give support or give up. If you’ve found this blog, I’m sure you’re the “give support” kind of coach. Look at your mental bar graph for the athlete in question and find solutions to make those lower bars grow. A coach who pulls a kid back from a near dropout to watch her succeed over and over in the future is a well rewarded coach. It’s okay to ask yourself “what if I’d given up?” I hope none of us ever have to ask ourselves “what if I’d tried a little harder?”

(as a level 5, this gymnast was the slowest runner on my team.  Give up?  I don't think so.)

One more note. If we applied the bar graph idea to ourselves as coaches, what would it look like? What variables would be on my list and how competent am I in each? I’m not sure I want to look that hard at my coaching abilities (and lack thereof). But, I’m going to do that right now and see what I learn.

Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear your comments and please visit again.

Photo courtesy of Mark Baldwin, 2010 Folger's New Year Invitational

Self-Discipline

Why do babies poop in their diapers? Babies poop in their diapers because they lack self-discipline. At some point they will realize that dirtying diapers is not fun, smells bad, and can be quite uncomfortable, leading them to learn the discipline necessary to visit the little boys room or little girls room when necessary.

My point here is that self-discipline is something we learn, and like sports skills, it will improve with practice, training, analysis, goal setting and goal attainment. Can we as coaches and parents teach children self-discipline? Of course we can. We potty-train our children, teach them how to hit a ball off a tee, turn cartwheels, run a post-pattern, and we can teach them how to be self-disciplined.


You may argue that SELF discipline means doing what’s right whether someone is watching you or not, and you’d be right. The Encarta Dictionary describes self-discipline as “the ability to do what is necessary or sensible without needing to be urged by somebody else.” Some people may think that standing over your children and telling them right from wrong, what’s necessary or sensible will not teach them self-discipline, after all, that word “self” is a key component of the phrase. Those people would be wrong.


We don’t give our four year old a bat, ball and tee and say “here you are, figure out what to do with these.” And, we don’t send our children out into the world and say “go learn right from wrong.” Before our kids can choose to do what’s right, they must know what right is. That comes from education. Education from parents, teachers, clergy, coaches, family, friends, and people they trust. We can’t confuse matters by throwing the word “self” into the education and skill development process. Self-discipline is not self-taught, it is only self-administered.


Youth sports are an excellent environment to teach self-discipline. It creates opportunities to teach right from wrong and gives children experience with decision making where the consequences of a poor decision are not life-threatening or life-changing. With proper focus from a coaching staff, a child can clearly learn the benefits of being self-disciplined in a youth sport setting. Experiencing those benefits will hopefully encourage them to continue their education and skill development in this endeavor into adulthood.


Coaches, if we can put time and effort into setting goals and teaching sports skills that will diminish and possibly disappear with age, shouldn’t we also put time and effort into setting goals and teaching self-discipline skills that will last a lifetime?


When talking to my athletes about self-discipline I always refer to three points I’ve taken from a philosophy presented by Lou Holtz about creating a positive self-image. I believe they apply to self-discipline as well, because having strong self-discipline plays a key role in having a positive self-image.


1. Always do what’s right. (If you’re not sure what’s right find out from someone you trust.)

2. Always do your best.

3. Always treat others as you’d like to be treated.



Coach Holtz explains how doing these three things will answer some important questions that significant people in your life will ask about you. First, “Can I trust you?” The only way to earn trust is to do what’s right all the time. Next, “Are you committed to excellence?” Show the people whose lives are touched by yours that you are committed to excellence by always doing your best. And, last, “Do you care about me?” Living by The Golden Rule covers this one.


All of us are born with very little self-discipline and as our lives progress, we become more self-disciplined. It is a never ending process of education and skill development. We should be teaching those whose progress is below our own and learning from those whose progress is beyond ours.

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A Coaches Greatest Gift

I’ve coached state champions, regional champions, and national champions. Watching athletes succeed in competition is rewarding for a coach. But, it’s not the greatest reward a coach can receive. Several times in my career, I have been approached after competitions by parents and coaches from other teams who have told me they really appreciate the way our coaches work with our athletes. These are the moments I consider my most successful.

As coaches, the greatest gift we can give our athletes will come from HOW we teach rather than WHAT we teach. Of course, it’s important to teach sports skills properly. But, in the big picture, the lessons learned from us as role models will last longer than the sports skills we teach.

Athletes, coaches, and parents love the results produced by hard work and good training. But it’s the process of attaining those results where learning takes place. The lessons children take from youth sports come more from the steps taken to excel in competition than they do from the competition itself.

Goal setting and goal achievement, self-discipline, perseverance, teamwork, and the joy of participation are just a few of the lessons learned from the process of preparing for competition.

Young athletes benefit when parents look past the results of competition to see what methods are used and what lessons are taught during the process of training to compete. Are the methods positive and progressive? Are the adults involved modeling behaviors and an attitude that you want your child to emulate? In addition to sports skills is your child learning lessons that are in line with what you are teaching them? Such as, how to be a good person, hard work pays off, etc.

Coaches, if parents are looking for these things because they are good for their children, we should be providing them for the same reason.

Please visit again and feel free to email comments to: folgersgym@aol.com.