Awhile back one of my best gymnasts seemed to be lacking intensity at practice. She was typically a hard worker and had been very successful the last few years. But, for a few weeks she had been hard to motivate. She was still getting a lot done during her training time, and doing well at competitions (high 37’s and low 38’s). But, she wasn’t her usual self. So, of course, I was trying to figure out why. Maybe she’s bored, I thought. She’s been a level 10 since eighth grade (she’s now a junior). Maybe she’s getting a big head, a case of over-confidence. She has had three very successful seasons in a row and has committed to a top college. Four local TV stations have done pieces about her, with interviews. Maybe she’s just getting lazy. Or, maybe because of her immense talent and successful competitions, she thinks its okay to coast along.
One day I casually mentioned to her that we needed to step up the intensity and get it back to where it used to be. Several days later when things hadn’t changed, I called her over and talked to her a little more in-depth about maintaining her standards, setting appropriate goals, and that while she was coasting, other gymnasts were improving (typical coach-talk).
Her reply didn’t surprise me, but the emotion that came with the reply did. The content of her response was “I’m trying the best I can. I’m doing everything you ask me to do. I’ve got three honors classes that are keeping me up late. I’m training twenty hours a week. I almost never miss practice. I’m taking extra classes to graduate early.” The emotion in her reply seemed to say “why don’t you believe me. This conversation is upsetting me.”
My response to that was something like “it’s not going to get any easier in college. Your professors and college coaches aren’t going to listen to reasons why you aren’t getting things done, they’ll just expect you to get them done.” I should have immediately slapped myself on the forehead and said “duh, good response coach.”
I spent the rest of that night and the next day thinking about how poorly I had handled the situation. A week later, I can still see her face and feel the emotion from when she said “I’m doing the best I can.” And, I now believe she was. Maybe she should have said “listen old man, you’re not seeing the whole picture here.” She would have been right.
Some of the points I was trying to make were valid. College is not always easy and college athletes need to be organized, prepared, and diligent in their effort to succeed in their sport and in the classroom. There was no doubt that her intensity had dropped off a bit. But, dealing with those things weren’t the lessons that needed to be taught at that moment. The lesson that needed to be taught at that moment was delivered TO me, not FROM me. I’ve coached this gymnast since she was six years old. I should have trusted her. All I needed to do was ask her why things had changed over the last few weeks. The best solution would have come from good communication, not accusation. If her intensity in the gym had dropped off a percent or two it was very likely that she had stepped it up a few percentage points in her schoolwork. The balance between those is not always perfect. The two tend to ebb and flow together. An important lesson that she is learning. Unbeknownst to her, her emotion-filled reaction in this situation was a good lesson for me. I hope I learned enough to get an “A”.
ADDED AUGUST, 2011
This gymnast did graduate from high school early. She left Wichita in December to join the University of Alabama gymnastics team. In April, three of the twenty scores used by the Alabama team to win the NCAA National Championships were hers. In May, she walked with her high school class at graduation as an NCAA National Champion.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Never Give Up on a Child
Coaches, teachers, parents, administrators, and counselors should never give up on a child. Children need and want guidance. They may not act like it, but they do. They may not overtly accept the bits of wisdom given to them by the adults in their lives and they may not act like the role models in their lives, but they are learning from both.
Many times after practice I have thought there is nothing more I can do for a child because (any of these reasons):
She doesn’t want to be here.
She doesn’t listen.
She can’t make corrections.
She doesn’t understand what we’re trying to accomplish.
She’s lazy.
She’s easily distracted (and, therefore, becomes a distraction).
She’s afraid of her skills.
She’s given up on herself.
I’ll admit. There have been times when I thought some of my gymnasts should give up the sport and do something else. Then I came to my senses and asked myself WHY some of the things on this list may be true. Why doesn’t she want to be at practice? Why is she easily distracted? Why is she not progressing?
There are a lot of variables that play a role in an athlete’s success/failure and persistence/dropout. I like to visualize these variables on a bar graph, each variable with its own level of competence. If an athlete is frustrated, unmotivated, and just not having fun, the cause is likely rooted in one of the areas represented by a low bar on the graph.
I’ve heard these thousands of times (and I’ve said them myself), “she just doesn’t listen” or “she just isn’t flexible” or “she’s lazy” or the one that inspired this blog post “I just don’t know what to do for her until she fixes (insert weak area here).” Whoa, stop the presses, rewind. “until SHE fixes”? Do we really want to tell our athletes “when you’ve fixed your problems, come to me and I’ll coach you.” Of course we don’t. It’s our job to look at the bar graph and help our athletes be competent in all areas. An extra amount of time and effort should be given to the lowest bars on the graph. After all, those are the variables which will most likely cause frustration, practices that aren’t fun, and dropout. The greatest gains will be made in the areas of least competence. A gymnast who improves her flexibility from 90% competency to 95% will benefit from that, but not near as much as the gymnast who improves listening skills from 20% to 40%.
As coaches, we get frustrated with our athletes. At that point, we can give support or give up. If you’ve found this blog, I’m sure you’re the “give support” kind of coach. Look at your mental bar graph for the athlete in question and find solutions to make those lower bars grow. A coach who pulls a kid back from a near dropout to watch her succeed over and over in the future is a well rewarded coach. It’s okay to ask yourself “what if I’d given up?” I hope none of us ever have to ask ourselves “what if I’d tried a little harder?”
(as a level 5, this gymnast was the slowest runner on my team. Give up? I don't think so.)She doesn’t want to be here.
She doesn’t listen.
She can’t make corrections.
She doesn’t understand what we’re trying to accomplish.
She’s lazy.
She’s easily distracted (and, therefore, becomes a distraction).
She’s afraid of her skills.
She’s given up on herself.
I’ll admit. There have been times when I thought some of my gymnasts should give up the sport and do something else. Then I came to my senses and asked myself WHY some of the things on this list may be true. Why doesn’t she want to be at practice? Why is she easily distracted? Why is she not progressing?
There are a lot of variables that play a role in an athlete’s success/failure and persistence/dropout. I like to visualize these variables on a bar graph, each variable with its own level of competence. If an athlete is frustrated, unmotivated, and just not having fun, the cause is likely rooted in one of the areas represented by a low bar on the graph.
I’ve heard these thousands of times (and I’ve said them myself), “she just doesn’t listen” or “she just isn’t flexible” or “she’s lazy” or the one that inspired this blog post “I just don’t know what to do for her until she fixes (insert weak area here).” Whoa, stop the presses, rewind. “until SHE fixes”? Do we really want to tell our athletes “when you’ve fixed your problems, come to me and I’ll coach you.” Of course we don’t. It’s our job to look at the bar graph and help our athletes be competent in all areas. An extra amount of time and effort should be given to the lowest bars on the graph. After all, those are the variables which will most likely cause frustration, practices that aren’t fun, and dropout. The greatest gains will be made in the areas of least competence. A gymnast who improves her flexibility from 90% competency to 95% will benefit from that, but not near as much as the gymnast who improves listening skills from 20% to 40%.
As coaches, we get frustrated with our athletes. At that point, we can give support or give up. If you’ve found this blog, I’m sure you’re the “give support” kind of coach. Look at your mental bar graph for the athlete in question and find solutions to make those lower bars grow. A coach who pulls a kid back from a near dropout to watch her succeed over and over in the future is a well rewarded coach. It’s okay to ask yourself “what if I’d given up?” I hope none of us ever have to ask ourselves “what if I’d tried a little harder?”
One more note. If we applied the bar graph idea to ourselves as coaches, what would it look like? What variables would be on my list and how competent am I in each? I’m not sure I want to look that hard at my coaching abilities (and lack thereof). But, I’m going to do that right now and see what I learn.
Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear your comments and please visit again.
Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear your comments and please visit again.
Photo courtesy of Mark Baldwin, 2010 Folger's New Year Invitational
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Self-Discipline
Why do babies poop in their diapers? Babies poop in their diapers because they lack self-discipline. At some point they will realize that dirtying diapers is not fun, smells bad, and can be quite uncomfortable, leading them to learn the discipline necessary to visit the little boys room or little girls room when necessary.
My point here is that self-discipline is something we learn, and like sports skills, it will improve with practice, training, analysis, goal setting and goal attainment. Can we as coaches and parents teach children self-discipline? Of course we can. We potty-train our children, teach them how to hit a ball off a tee, turn cartwheels, run a post-pattern, and we can teach them how to be self-disciplined.
You may argue that SELF discipline means doing what’s right whether someone is watching you or not, and you’d be right. The Encarta Dictionary describes self-discipline as “the ability to do what is necessary or sensible without needing to be urged by somebody else.” Some people may think that standing over your children and telling them right from wrong, what’s necessary or sensible will not teach them self-discipline, after all, that word “self” is a key component of the phrase. Those people would be wrong.
We don’t give our four year old a bat, ball and tee and say “here you are, figure out what to do with these.” And, we don’t send our children out into the world and say “go learn right from wrong.” Before our kids can choose to do what’s right, they must know what right is. That comes from education. Education from parents, teachers, clergy, coaches, family, friends, and people they trust. We can’t confuse matters by throwing the word “self” into the education and skill development process. Self-discipline is not self-taught, it is only self-administered.
Youth sports are an excellent environment to teach self-discipline. It creates opportunities to teach right from wrong and gives children experience with decision making where the consequences of a poor decision are not life-threatening or life-changing. With proper focus from a coaching staff, a child can clearly learn the benefits of being self-disciplined in a youth sport setting. Experiencing those benefits will hopefully encourage them to continue their education and skill development in this endeavor into adulthood.
Coaches, if we can put time and effort into setting goals and teaching sports skills that will diminish and possibly disappear with age, shouldn’t we also put time and effort into setting goals and teaching self-discipline skills that will last a lifetime?
When talking to my athletes about self-discipline I always refer to three points I’ve taken from a philosophy presented by Lou Holtz about creating a positive self-image. I believe they apply to self-discipline as well, because having strong self-discipline plays a key role in having a positive self-image.
1. Always do what’s right. (If you’re not sure what’s right find out from someone you trust.)
2. Always do your best.
3. Always treat others as you’d like to be treated.
Coach Holtz explains how doing these three things will answer some important questions that significant people in your life will ask about you. First, “Can I trust you?” The only way to earn trust is to do what’s right all the time. Next, “Are you committed to excellence?” Show the people whose lives are touched by yours that you are committed to excellence by always doing your best. And, last, “Do you care about me?” Living by The Golden Rule covers this one.
All of us are born with very little self-discipline and as our lives progress, we become more self-disciplined. It is a never ending process of education and skill development. We should be teaching those whose progress is below our own and learning from those whose progress is beyond ours.
Please visit again and feel free to email comments to: folgersgym@aol.com
My point here is that self-discipline is something we learn, and like sports skills, it will improve with practice, training, analysis, goal setting and goal attainment. Can we as coaches and parents teach children self-discipline? Of course we can. We potty-train our children, teach them how to hit a ball off a tee, turn cartwheels, run a post-pattern, and we can teach them how to be self-disciplined.
You may argue that SELF discipline means doing what’s right whether someone is watching you or not, and you’d be right. The Encarta Dictionary describes self-discipline as “the ability to do what is necessary or sensible without needing to be urged by somebody else.” Some people may think that standing over your children and telling them right from wrong, what’s necessary or sensible will not teach them self-discipline, after all, that word “self” is a key component of the phrase. Those people would be wrong.
We don’t give our four year old a bat, ball and tee and say “here you are, figure out what to do with these.” And, we don’t send our children out into the world and say “go learn right from wrong.” Before our kids can choose to do what’s right, they must know what right is. That comes from education. Education from parents, teachers, clergy, coaches, family, friends, and people they trust. We can’t confuse matters by throwing the word “self” into the education and skill development process. Self-discipline is not self-taught, it is only self-administered.
Youth sports are an excellent environment to teach self-discipline. It creates opportunities to teach right from wrong and gives children experience with decision making where the consequences of a poor decision are not life-threatening or life-changing. With proper focus from a coaching staff, a child can clearly learn the benefits of being self-disciplined in a youth sport setting. Experiencing those benefits will hopefully encourage them to continue their education and skill development in this endeavor into adulthood.
Coaches, if we can put time and effort into setting goals and teaching sports skills that will diminish and possibly disappear with age, shouldn’t we also put time and effort into setting goals and teaching self-discipline skills that will last a lifetime?
When talking to my athletes about self-discipline I always refer to three points I’ve taken from a philosophy presented by Lou Holtz about creating a positive self-image. I believe they apply to self-discipline as well, because having strong self-discipline plays a key role in having a positive self-image.
1. Always do what’s right. (If you’re not sure what’s right find out from someone you trust.)
2. Always do your best.
3. Always treat others as you’d like to be treated.
Coach Holtz explains how doing these three things will answer some important questions that significant people in your life will ask about you. First, “Can I trust you?” The only way to earn trust is to do what’s right all the time. Next, “Are you committed to excellence?” Show the people whose lives are touched by yours that you are committed to excellence by always doing your best. And, last, “Do you care about me?” Living by The Golden Rule covers this one.
All of us are born with very little self-discipline and as our lives progress, we become more self-disciplined. It is a never ending process of education and skill development. We should be teaching those whose progress is below our own and learning from those whose progress is beyond ours.
Please visit again and feel free to email comments to: folgersgym@aol.com
Monday, March 29, 2010
A Coaches Greatest Gift
I’ve coached state champions, regional champions, and national champions. Watching athletes succeed in competition is rewarding for a coach. But, it’s not the greatest reward a coach can receive. Several times in my career, I have been approached after competitions by parents and coaches from other teams who have told me they really appreciate the way our coaches work with our athletes. These are the moments I consider my most successful.
As coaches, the greatest gift we can give our athletes will come from HOW we teach rather than WHAT we teach. Of course, it’s important to teach sports skills properly. But, in the big picture, the lessons learned from us as role models will last longer than the sports skills we teach.
Athletes, coaches, and parents love the results produced by hard work and good training. But it’s the process of attaining those results where learning takes place. The lessons children take from youth sports come more from the steps taken to excel in competition than they do from the competition itself.
Goal setting and goal achievement, self-discipline, perseverance, teamwork, and the joy of participation are just a few of the lessons learned from the process of preparing for competition.
Young athletes benefit when parents look past the results of competition to see what methods are used and what lessons are taught during the process of training to compete. Are the methods positive and progressive? Are the adults involved modeling behaviors and an attitude that you want your child to emulate? In addition to sports skills is your child learning lessons that are in line with what you are teaching them? Such as, how to be a good person, hard work pays off, etc.
Coaches, if parents are looking for these things because they are good for their children, we should be providing them for the same reason.
Please visit again and feel free to email comments to: folgersgym@aol.com.
As coaches, the greatest gift we can give our athletes will come from HOW we teach rather than WHAT we teach. Of course, it’s important to teach sports skills properly. But, in the big picture, the lessons learned from us as role models will last longer than the sports skills we teach.
Athletes, coaches, and parents love the results produced by hard work and good training. But it’s the process of attaining those results where learning takes place. The lessons children take from youth sports come more from the steps taken to excel in competition than they do from the competition itself.
Goal setting and goal achievement, self-discipline, perseverance, teamwork, and the joy of participation are just a few of the lessons learned from the process of preparing for competition.
Young athletes benefit when parents look past the results of competition to see what methods are used and what lessons are taught during the process of training to compete. Are the methods positive and progressive? Are the adults involved modeling behaviors and an attitude that you want your child to emulate? In addition to sports skills is your child learning lessons that are in line with what you are teaching them? Such as, how to be a good person, hard work pays off, etc.
Coaches, if parents are looking for these things because they are good for their children, we should be providing them for the same reason.
Please visit again and feel free to email comments to: folgersgym@aol.com.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Is There Anything Better than Watching Kids Excel?
I love watching kids excel. Initially because of the smile on their face and the excitement I know they are experiencing, but also because I know they have learned so much from the process of achieving excellence. I’ve always believed that all children need to excel at something, and that all children WILL excel at something if given a wide range of opportunities and experiences to find what they love to do. How does a child benefit from doing something well?
A sense of accomplishment
Motivation to continue the activity
Developing passion for an activity
Learning to set goals and be a progressive thinker
Learning the process of accomplishment
Recognition from parents, family and friends
Determining a career path (depending on the activity)
Friendships with other children who share common interests
It’s fun to do something well
This list could become very large, so I’ll stop here.
Parents should provide their young children opportunities to participate in a variety of activities. Exposure to sports, arts, academics, mechanics, building things, tearing things down, music, etc. will help children find activities they enjoy, most likely leading to excellence in one or more of those activities. Listen to your children talk about the things they do. Listen for reasons why they choose some activities over others. Find the activities they choose for the intrinsic rewards (the joy of participating, the thrill of meeting a challenge, etc.) and provide more opportunities to do those. Choosing activities for the extrinsic rewards isn’t a bad thing, but parents should ask themselves this question, “will my child continue the activity when the extrinsic rewards are no longer there?” If the answer is no, then parents have a few options. You can let them continue until the extrinsic rewards are gone and then let them move on to something else. This will happen a lot with children and isn’t bad at all, particularly if they have other interests that are intrinsically motivating. The second choice is to make sure the extrinsic rewards never go away (and increase in value). You guessed it, this isn’t a good choice. A third option would be to steer your child toward the things that appear to motivate them intrinsically or toward new activities they may enjoy.
Don't be afraid to let your child "specialize" in an activity. Most literature you read will advise parents against allowing their children to devote their time to one primary activity. I tend to agree, but if your child finds a sport or activity they love and are passionate about, let them pursue it whole-heartedly. Keep them involved in other things, but if it's their choice to practice, play and compete primarily in one sport, let them. All children will, at some point, begin to choose fewer activities and spend more time doing their favorites. This natural funneling of activity, if not manipulated by outside forces (parents, friends, coaches, etc.), should lead a child to do what they enjoy the most.
As children get older, peer recognition becomes a strong motivator. You can find arguments that peer recognition is an external reward. And, you can find arguments that it is internally motivating. I tend to believe that recognition by others that you do something well leans a little more toward the intrinsic side of motivation than the extrinsic. A more accurate explanation would be this; although peer recognition is external, it comes after the activity was chosen and excellence achieved, meaning it’s just “icing on the cake” of a well motivated accomplishment.
Teenagers will choose activities based on what their friends are doing. That's okay as long as the activities are appropriate. A healthy mix of "doing what my friends do" and "doing what I love" is best. Because friends tend to have common interests, those are often the same thing. Encourage your children to continue doing the things they love even if their friends don't enjoy those activities.
All children will excel at something if given plenty of opportunities to experience a variety of activities. Seeing the benefits of achieving excellence, we owe it to our kids to create (or at least not limit) those opportunities. If we look hard enough, we will find excellence in every child and that is worth the effort.
A sense of accomplishment
Motivation to continue the activity
Developing passion for an activity
Learning to set goals and be a progressive thinker
Learning the process of accomplishment
Recognition from parents, family and friends
Determining a career path (depending on the activity)
Friendships with other children who share common interests
It’s fun to do something well
This list could become very large, so I’ll stop here.
Parents should provide their young children opportunities to participate in a variety of activities. Exposure to sports, arts, academics, mechanics, building things, tearing things down, music, etc. will help children find activities they enjoy, most likely leading to excellence in one or more of those activities. Listen to your children talk about the things they do. Listen for reasons why they choose some activities over others. Find the activities they choose for the intrinsic rewards (the joy of participating, the thrill of meeting a challenge, etc.) and provide more opportunities to do those. Choosing activities for the extrinsic rewards isn’t a bad thing, but parents should ask themselves this question, “will my child continue the activity when the extrinsic rewards are no longer there?” If the answer is no, then parents have a few options. You can let them continue until the extrinsic rewards are gone and then let them move on to something else. This will happen a lot with children and isn’t bad at all, particularly if they have other interests that are intrinsically motivating. The second choice is to make sure the extrinsic rewards never go away (and increase in value). You guessed it, this isn’t a good choice. A third option would be to steer your child toward the things that appear to motivate them intrinsically or toward new activities they may enjoy.
Don't be afraid to let your child "specialize" in an activity. Most literature you read will advise parents against allowing their children to devote their time to one primary activity. I tend to agree, but if your child finds a sport or activity they love and are passionate about, let them pursue it whole-heartedly. Keep them involved in other things, but if it's their choice to practice, play and compete primarily in one sport, let them. All children will, at some point, begin to choose fewer activities and spend more time doing their favorites. This natural funneling of activity, if not manipulated by outside forces (parents, friends, coaches, etc.), should lead a child to do what they enjoy the most.
As children get older, peer recognition becomes a strong motivator. You can find arguments that peer recognition is an external reward. And, you can find arguments that it is internally motivating. I tend to believe that recognition by others that you do something well leans a little more toward the intrinsic side of motivation than the extrinsic. A more accurate explanation would be this; although peer recognition is external, it comes after the activity was chosen and excellence achieved, meaning it’s just “icing on the cake” of a well motivated accomplishment.
Teenagers will choose activities based on what their friends are doing. That's okay as long as the activities are appropriate. A healthy mix of "doing what my friends do" and "doing what I love" is best. Because friends tend to have common interests, those are often the same thing. Encourage your children to continue doing the things they love even if their friends don't enjoy those activities.
All children will excel at something if given plenty of opportunities to experience a variety of activities. Seeing the benefits of achieving excellence, we owe it to our kids to create (or at least not limit) those opportunities. If we look hard enough, we will find excellence in every child and that is worth the effort.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Hidden Opportunities in Youth Sports
What opportunities exist for youth sports participants? Fame, fortune, multi-million dollar contracts? No. National teams, college scholarships, a few perks now and then? Sure, for some. If you look for opportunities created by children participating in sports, you’ll be able to make a long list, with the most obvious being developing friendships, learning life skills, and doing something you love. There are less obvious opportunities, one in particular that I want to discuss here.
When someone does something well, it draws attention to them. That attention creates opportunities to do good things for other people without expecting anything in return. That’s a “feel good” habit worth developing. Younger athletes look up to older athletes who excel at their sport. A simple compliment from one of these older athletes can “make the day” of the less experienced athlete. When you “make the day” for a child, you make the day for their parents as well, allowing one simple good deed to go a long way.
What’s great about this hidden opportunity is that excellence is relative. Like beauty, it’s in the eye of the beholder. A seven year old who does a nice straight arm, straight leg cartwheel is excellent in the eyes of the four year old who’s struggling just to get hands and feet placed in the right order for her cartwheel. That same seven year old may look up to a ten year old who does a cartwheel on the high balance beam. The ten year old sees excellence in the level 8 gymnast who does a roundoff on the beam to a layout back flip dismount, and the level 8 looks up to the level 10 who does the same but with a double twist. Because excellence is relative, opportunities are available at all levels of competence.
As our athletes progress, mature, and excel in their sport some will understand that opportunities exist to make a difference to others, with a simple compliment or with a significant contribution of time and effort. Some athletes haven’t given it much thought or don’t realize they are role models and the focus of other’s attention. Other athletes may or may not understand that the opportunities exist, but their personality is not one that is outgoing enough to take advantage of those opportunities, and that’s fine. As coaches and parents we should point out to our athletes and children that when they excel at something and that draws attention to them they have created a chance to do some good. If they want to take advantage of those opportunities, that’s great. If it’s “not their thing,” then that’s okay as well. My guess is most of these athletes are making a difference just with the behaviors they model.
I watch how easily the “little ones” in my gym pick out our top gymnasts and watch them in awe. And, I’ve watched those top gymnasts take a moment to say “nice cartwheel” or “I saw you make your pullover today” to one of the little ones, expecting nothing in return (except the cute smile, of course). And, I’ve had parents tell me how much it meant for their daughter to get that compliment. It’s a simple thing that makes such a big difference. Let’s make sure our athletes and children know these opportunities exist and how easy it is to take advantage of them in a small way or a big way.
When someone does something well, it draws attention to them. That attention creates opportunities to do good things for other people without expecting anything in return. That’s a “feel good” habit worth developing. Younger athletes look up to older athletes who excel at their sport. A simple compliment from one of these older athletes can “make the day” of the less experienced athlete. When you “make the day” for a child, you make the day for their parents as well, allowing one simple good deed to go a long way.
What’s great about this hidden opportunity is that excellence is relative. Like beauty, it’s in the eye of the beholder. A seven year old who does a nice straight arm, straight leg cartwheel is excellent in the eyes of the four year old who’s struggling just to get hands and feet placed in the right order for her cartwheel. That same seven year old may look up to a ten year old who does a cartwheel on the high balance beam. The ten year old sees excellence in the level 8 gymnast who does a roundoff on the beam to a layout back flip dismount, and the level 8 looks up to the level 10 who does the same but with a double twist. Because excellence is relative, opportunities are available at all levels of competence.
As our athletes progress, mature, and excel in their sport some will understand that opportunities exist to make a difference to others, with a simple compliment or with a significant contribution of time and effort. Some athletes haven’t given it much thought or don’t realize they are role models and the focus of other’s attention. Other athletes may or may not understand that the opportunities exist, but their personality is not one that is outgoing enough to take advantage of those opportunities, and that’s fine. As coaches and parents we should point out to our athletes and children that when they excel at something and that draws attention to them they have created a chance to do some good. If they want to take advantage of those opportunities, that’s great. If it’s “not their thing,” then that’s okay as well. My guess is most of these athletes are making a difference just with the behaviors they model.
I watch how easily the “little ones” in my gym pick out our top gymnasts and watch them in awe. And, I’ve watched those top gymnasts take a moment to say “nice cartwheel” or “I saw you make your pullover today” to one of the little ones, expecting nothing in return (except the cute smile, of course). And, I’ve had parents tell me how much it meant for their daughter to get that compliment. It’s a simple thing that makes such a big difference. Let’s make sure our athletes and children know these opportunities exist and how easy it is to take advantage of them in a small way or a big way.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Awards for Youth Sports
Help! I’ve been to many awards ceremonies for gymnastics meets over the years and I come away from most scratching my head and asking myself these questions. I’m hoping I can get feedback from parents and coaches that may help me find answers.
How did we get to a point where a two and a half hour meet is followed by a thirty to forty five minute awards ceremony? What’s best, giving an award to every child on every event, giving a certain percentage of the athlete’s awards on each event, or giving a gold, silver and bronze medal only on each event? If we know that intrinsically motivated children are more likely to persevere in sports longer, enjoy them more, and have a better chance of transitioning from youth sports to a healthy, active adult lifestyle, why are we putting such an emphasis on presenting extrinsic rewards following competition? Can our children base success on achieving their goals when we give the appearance that success is based on the number of awards they win and what place they take? What really creates opportunities for EVERYONE to celebrate, determining success based on your goals or giving everyone an award on every event, regardless of performance? What increases the long term desire to continue in a sport, determining success based on your goals or based on where you are on the awards stand? How meaningful is an award when you get one for just entering the competition? And, after we’ve answered all these questions, what can we do to make awards ceremonies better for our children?
Here are my thoughts on this matter. They will be considered by most to be old-school. I am quite willing to change my way of thinking about awards ceremonies if given good reasons to do so. First, as the amount of awards presented increases, either by number or by percentage of athletes who receive them, the value of the award decreases. Second, I believe children would rather not get an award than have to go up on the awards stand to receive a last place or low placing award. Third, we should not spend twenty to twenty five percent of our time at a youth sports event watching an awards ceremony. And, finally, if we want our children to reap the benefits of intrinsic motivation, we should drastically reduce the number of awards we present at meets.
What’s wrong with giving a gold, silver and bronze medal on each event and in the all around and a participation award or gift for everyone entered? If we keep age groups small, (less than ten children in a group) each competitor will have a pretty good chance of getting a medal (15 out of 50 scores would earn a medal). If a gymnast comes away without a medal, or they get only one, they will be very much in the majority, rather than the minority. When that child does win a medal, it will have meaning and create a sense of accomplishment. There are some additional benefits to this method. Entry fees can be lowered because the expense of awards will be less. The awards ceremony will be fast. No one will be called to the awards stand to get a last place award (or 15th or 20th). Our awards stands can be smaller (meet directors will appreciate this). Our children will learn to determine success by comparing their performance with their goals, creating opportunities for ALL to celebrate. Everyone in a competition can be successful by accomplishing their goals. The gold, silver and bronze medals should be used to distinguish the exceptional performances of the day.
I live in the real world and realize our awards ceremonies have evolved to a point where going back to a three medal ceremony is unlikely. But, I strongly believe we should look at every aspect of our children’s youth sports experiences and ask necessary and quite possibly unpopular questions about what’s best for the kids. And then, we must have the courage to do what’s right, every time, all the time.
Please visit again and feel free to send your comments to folgersgym@aol.com.
How did we get to a point where a two and a half hour meet is followed by a thirty to forty five minute awards ceremony? What’s best, giving an award to every child on every event, giving a certain percentage of the athlete’s awards on each event, or giving a gold, silver and bronze medal only on each event? If we know that intrinsically motivated children are more likely to persevere in sports longer, enjoy them more, and have a better chance of transitioning from youth sports to a healthy, active adult lifestyle, why are we putting such an emphasis on presenting extrinsic rewards following competition? Can our children base success on achieving their goals when we give the appearance that success is based on the number of awards they win and what place they take? What really creates opportunities for EVERYONE to celebrate, determining success based on your goals or giving everyone an award on every event, regardless of performance? What increases the long term desire to continue in a sport, determining success based on your goals or based on where you are on the awards stand? How meaningful is an award when you get one for just entering the competition? And, after we’ve answered all these questions, what can we do to make awards ceremonies better for our children?
Here are my thoughts on this matter. They will be considered by most to be old-school. I am quite willing to change my way of thinking about awards ceremonies if given good reasons to do so. First, as the amount of awards presented increases, either by number or by percentage of athletes who receive them, the value of the award decreases. Second, I believe children would rather not get an award than have to go up on the awards stand to receive a last place or low placing award. Third, we should not spend twenty to twenty five percent of our time at a youth sports event watching an awards ceremony. And, finally, if we want our children to reap the benefits of intrinsic motivation, we should drastically reduce the number of awards we present at meets.
What’s wrong with giving a gold, silver and bronze medal on each event and in the all around and a participation award or gift for everyone entered? If we keep age groups small, (less than ten children in a group) each competitor will have a pretty good chance of getting a medal (15 out of 50 scores would earn a medal). If a gymnast comes away without a medal, or they get only one, they will be very much in the majority, rather than the minority. When that child does win a medal, it will have meaning and create a sense of accomplishment. There are some additional benefits to this method. Entry fees can be lowered because the expense of awards will be less. The awards ceremony will be fast. No one will be called to the awards stand to get a last place award (or 15th or 20th). Our awards stands can be smaller (meet directors will appreciate this). Our children will learn to determine success by comparing their performance with their goals, creating opportunities for ALL to celebrate. Everyone in a competition can be successful by accomplishing their goals. The gold, silver and bronze medals should be used to distinguish the exceptional performances of the day.
I live in the real world and realize our awards ceremonies have evolved to a point where going back to a three medal ceremony is unlikely. But, I strongly believe we should look at every aspect of our children’s youth sports experiences and ask necessary and quite possibly unpopular questions about what’s best for the kids. And then, we must have the courage to do what’s right, every time, all the time.
Please visit again and feel free to send your comments to folgersgym@aol.com.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Nastia Liukin Super Girl Cup
I came away from my experience at the Nastia Liukin SuperGirl Cup with one thing embedded deeply in my thoughts. As much talent and competitive spirit as there was on the floor, what the girls seemed to enjoy most was their time together. They ate meals together, had a training session, and a competition. They were supportive and very appreciative of each other’s talent.
What makes a competition good? I believe it’s the people. If good people are involved, the competition will be good. My schedule will take me from Worcester, Massachusetts and the SuperGirl Cup last weekend to Great Bend, Kansas and a level 2 meet this coming weekend. As crazy as it sounds, I’m confident I will find the meets to be similar. The girls will enjoy their time together and because of the good people involved, the meet will be a good experience.
What makes a competition good? I believe it’s the people. If good people are involved, the competition will be good. My schedule will take me from Worcester, Massachusetts and the SuperGirl Cup last weekend to Great Bend, Kansas and a level 2 meet this coming weekend. As crazy as it sounds, I’m confident I will find the meets to be similar. The girls will enjoy their time together and because of the good people involved, the meet will be a good experience.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Children Want to Please Their Parents
My 30+ years of coaching children has led me to believe there is one absolute in the world of youth sports. Children want to please their parents. Yes parents, it’s true, and not just in the sports world. Although little Johnny may never clean his room, puts off his homework until the last minute, and “forgets” to take his dishes from the table to the dishwasher at least 5 times a week, when it comes to performance, whether little league, music, academics, or acting, little Johnny, more than anything else, wants to please his parents. I believe this is an innate trait in children.
You can throw other adults into the mix as well, just not with the same importance as a parent. Children want coaches, Grandparents, teachers, and other significant adults to see them excel.
When adults understand this and make a conscious effort to see how it affects children, they can use children’s activities to build or strengthen relationships and to teach important life lessons. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying use this knowledge to manipulate your child or athlete. I’m saying an understanding that children want to please the adults in their lives will help you create opportunities to share some love and to teach some important life lessons.
What kind of feedback do you want from the person whose opinion means the most to you? Although that person saw the good and the bad in your performance, what would you prefer to hear from them? Remember, more than anything else, children want to please their parents and other significant adults in their lives. Adults’ initial feedback following a competition or practice should focus on the positive happenings. Children should first hear about the things they did well. They should feel your pleasure in their performance from your feedback. And, that may be enough.
If your child brings up mistakes and errors, listen to what they say without being judgmental. Watch for an opportunity to reinforce an important lesson, such as persistence. “Maybe you didn’t turn a double play today, but if you keep working on it, they’ll happen soon. Your move at second base is getting better.” Or, goal setting, “you know the pro’s don’t shoot 80% from three point range, maybe that’s a little too much to expect from yourself, how ‘bout 30% in games and 40% during open shooting time?”
It’s critical that everyone knows their role in these matters. Coaches should coach and parents should parent. With children, approval from parents will most always trump input from coaches. If the coach tells Suzy her arms should be up at the end of a cartwheel, but Mom (without even thinking of giving coaching advice) says “I really like the way Jane puts her arms down at the end of her cartwheel,” guess what Suzy will do on her next cartwheel. You got it! The arms will be down.
Youth sports are filled with many wonderful things. The opportunity for children and parents to share some love and joy is one of the best. Your children are waiting for it, they want it, they’ll accept it, no questions asked. So, give it to them.
Please visit again and feel free to email your comments to: folgersgym@aol.com
You can throw other adults into the mix as well, just not with the same importance as a parent. Children want coaches, Grandparents, teachers, and other significant adults to see them excel.
When adults understand this and make a conscious effort to see how it affects children, they can use children’s activities to build or strengthen relationships and to teach important life lessons. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying use this knowledge to manipulate your child or athlete. I’m saying an understanding that children want to please the adults in their lives will help you create opportunities to share some love and to teach some important life lessons.
What kind of feedback do you want from the person whose opinion means the most to you? Although that person saw the good and the bad in your performance, what would you prefer to hear from them? Remember, more than anything else, children want to please their parents and other significant adults in their lives. Adults’ initial feedback following a competition or practice should focus on the positive happenings. Children should first hear about the things they did well. They should feel your pleasure in their performance from your feedback. And, that may be enough.
If your child brings up mistakes and errors, listen to what they say without being judgmental. Watch for an opportunity to reinforce an important lesson, such as persistence. “Maybe you didn’t turn a double play today, but if you keep working on it, they’ll happen soon. Your move at second base is getting better.” Or, goal setting, “you know the pro’s don’t shoot 80% from three point range, maybe that’s a little too much to expect from yourself, how ‘bout 30% in games and 40% during open shooting time?”
It’s critical that everyone knows their role in these matters. Coaches should coach and parents should parent. With children, approval from parents will most always trump input from coaches. If the coach tells Suzy her arms should be up at the end of a cartwheel, but Mom (without even thinking of giving coaching advice) says “I really like the way Jane puts her arms down at the end of her cartwheel,” guess what Suzy will do on her next cartwheel. You got it! The arms will be down.
Youth sports are filled with many wonderful things. The opportunity for children and parents to share some love and joy is one of the best. Your children are waiting for it, they want it, they’ll accept it, no questions asked. So, give it to them.
Please visit again and feel free to email your comments to: folgersgym@aol.com
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Finding the Good in Youth Sports
While much discussion and printed material concerned with youth sports focuses on negative issues and circumstances, let us not forget what’s good in the world of youth sports. As is usually the case in life, good things evolve from the involvement of good people. Caring, enthusiastic, and energetic people are abundant on the fields, courts and in the gyms of our children. Look around and you’ll see them.
You may have to look hard at first because the negative influences tend to be more visible. But, keep looking and you’ll soon realize that the good is the majority, an overwhelming majority. Watch the coaches, parents, and officials. Do you see the smiles, the support, and the caring attitude that so many bring to the sports setting? Can you see past the frustrated and the overzealous? If you can, you’ll find the role models that make children’s sports such a fantastic learning experience.
Look at yourself. Take some time to consider your actions and the behaviors you model for the children in your life. When others look for the good in youth sports will they find you? If you’re dedicated to youth sports enough to have found this blog, I’m guessing the answer to that question is yes.
I’m excited to be blogging on the topic of youth sports. I don’t consider myself to be an expert, but I do consider myself to be experienced. I’ve had some great achievements and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. After thirty plus years of coaching, I have some definite thoughts about what’s right with youth sports, why we love sports and how we can help our kids love them too.
Please visit again and feel free to post your comments.
You may have to look hard at first because the negative influences tend to be more visible. But, keep looking and you’ll soon realize that the good is the majority, an overwhelming majority. Watch the coaches, parents, and officials. Do you see the smiles, the support, and the caring attitude that so many bring to the sports setting? Can you see past the frustrated and the overzealous? If you can, you’ll find the role models that make children’s sports such a fantastic learning experience.
Look at yourself. Take some time to consider your actions and the behaviors you model for the children in your life. When others look for the good in youth sports will they find you? If you’re dedicated to youth sports enough to have found this blog, I’m guessing the answer to that question is yes.
I’m excited to be blogging on the topic of youth sports. I don’t consider myself to be an expert, but I do consider myself to be experienced. I’ve had some great achievements and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. After thirty plus years of coaching, I have some definite thoughts about what’s right with youth sports, why we love sports and how we can help our kids love them too.
Please visit again and feel free to post your comments.
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